Posting from a throwaway because this is honestly a little embarrassing to admit. I’m in my early 30s have a solid career, good friends, a normal life. On paper I should be fine dating. In reality I’m exhausted, frustrated, and kind of sad about how hard this has been.
My issue isn’t that I can’t get dates. I can. Apps, speed dating, bars, setups from friends, I’ve tried all of it. The problem is that I have very specific non negotiables, and the apps just aren’t built for that.
For context, I’m serious about:
• wanting multiple kids
• practicing Catholic and wanting to raise kids in the Church
• similar financial values and long term lifestyle expectations
None of those things are bad, but put them together and suddenly the dating pool shrinks fast.
Speed dating feels like roulette. Bars feel like chaos. Apps feel like a second unpaid job that leads nowhere. I’m tired of explaining my dealbreakers on date three and watching the light leave someone’s eyes.
What’s getting to me most is the anxiety loop. Am I being too rigid or am I just trying to be honest about the life I actually want? I don’t want to waste my time or someone else’s but I also don’t want to wake up at 40 realizing I compromised on things that mattered.