TL;DR: My boyfriend got upset about the fact that I watched porn, even though we had set boundaries about it before.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months, and around 2 months back me and my boyfriend had a conversation about either of us watching porn, and how we’d feel about it. He said that he’s completely okay with it and that he genuinely wouldn’t care, to which I replied the same.
Today, over the phone, he asked me if I had been watching porn, and I admitted that I had been and that I’ve done it twice throughout our relationship. He got very upset and emotional, and explained how he feels insecure and that it makes him feel betrayed. He said he had thoughts such as “am I not good enough? What do they have that I don’t? Do I not do it for you?”, and explained that he had been out today shopping for presents for me for Christmas, and that he had come home to that. He made me feel guilty and said that he doesn’t fully trust me anymore, and that he won’t be able to look at me the same. He also said that he’s secretly quite insecure and that it just makes him question things, such as “do you think of other people when you kiss me?”
He said he had talked to his mum about it, and she explained how his feelings are completely valid & that his dad used to do that to her and it would make her feel terrible, and that later on he cheated on her.
I empathised with him greatly, apologised countless of times, and said that I’d never do it again because I know it makes him uncomfortable. I told him I feel guilty and he said “good, let it sit with you”.
We finished the phone call on good terms, with him feeling quite sad about it and me feeling guilty.
I’m reaching out for advice or different opinions as I find it a little unfair that we made boundaries about it previously & I’ve been made out to be this person that’s just done the nastiest thing in the world.
For context, he wasn’t angry or mad at me, just upset & truthful about how he feels, which I understood, but I found it unfair. As well as the fact that he told his mum quite intimate things about me, because now her view of me will be different.