So I know this is going to open me up to judgment but it's making my head spin and I don't know where else to go, and I know I'm going to get a lot of "if she can do this to him she can do it to you" comments, I understand that arguments, I've heard it before, I'd prefer not to hear it again
There is a girl (20f) that I (25m) enjoy being really good friends with and over the course of the last year we've gotten closer and closer, but that girl has a boyfriend
Now it's not a perfect relationship, she's admitted in the past that she knows that eventually the relationship will end, and she has admitted that even he's tried to break up with her before so there's definitely issues in that relationship, and I've even noticed that he barely treats her like a girlfriend at times (honestly sometimes the vibe I get is that he treats her like a hobby, but I also don't know all the inns and outs of their relationship I'll admit) but lately it's been getting weird between us
Our friendship started off fine, just driving around doing normal stuff like going to an event in the city together, or going to the library together to work on homework, but over time they've gotten a bit more and more, but then it came to a head where she had to stay the night in my apartment because there was snow storm outside a few weeks ago, and during that night multiple things happened. She kissed me, she curled up next to me, she admitted to fantasizing about sleeping next to me at night, has admitted to sometimes having dreams about me, she pressed my hand against her breast, she flashed me, she did many things that dropped massive signals that she's interested in me, and since then she's done similar things… But then goes the next day goes "oh I love my boyfriend so much" (not the exact words obviously, that's the vibe)
It's making my head spin, I do like this person and honestly I would love to date her and I won't lie that I do have a mild crush on her. Many people have told me she's just using me for attention but when I look up online signs of someone playing you\ just using you for attention versus actually interested she checks off all the boxes for genuinely interested, but then she also goes "oh I love bf so much I couldn't see my life without him" (while again, having admitted that she knows the relationship is going to end at some point and feeling that it's toxic)
and now she is trying to get me to plan multi day trips just the two of us to fun locations where we would have to spend at least 1 or 2 nights in a hotel room, just the two of us. (which honestly sound like a ton of fun and i want to do, but you know…. boyfriend)
I don't know what's going through her head anymore and it's making my head spin. All my friends are telling me I should either establish extreme boundaries or drop the friendship altogether. I will admit I tried to have a conversation with this about her but she gave me less than satisfying answers and the only true takeaway I got from that conversation was that nobody wants to end the friendship (she actually thought that's what was going to happen and she almost started crying, she clearly cares about me and doesn't want to end this friendship) I don't think she even has good answers to my question or knows what's going on.
What should I do? And if I were to establish boundaries what should they look like?
Tl;dr my best friend is dropping massive signs that she's interested in me, but then turns around and claims that she cares immensely about her boyfriend and it's confusing me