For educational purposes, how would one phrase this question to get more clarity from their doctor…? I have to see my gyno this week for a procedure on my labia, and as with most things it seems, you’re not supposed to take a bath, use tampons, or engage in sexual activity etc for a few weeks during recovery.
My bf and I have no problem with the Christian loophole however, is this something included in “no sexual activity”?? It wouldn’t be the exact area but close to it, and who knows if fluids around there is a good idea. So I guess, how should I, a 25yr old girl, ask my doctor, a much older man, to specify what exactly should and shouldn’t be done and for how long?? Unfortunately I do need a detailed list just because…well my bf and I haven’t seen each other in a long time and have Xmas plans so yknow…just telling me to put a zipper on everything and be a nun for another good month just doesn’t sound like it’s going to go to plan lol. Being realistic I guess I’d like to know how much one can get away with only without having to outright ask the nice doctor if I can do butt stuff instead
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i would just phrase it the same way you did the title.
“Doc, I’m going to be blunt. Can I do butt stuff during the recuperation?”
Any doctor worth their degree won’t bat an eye. “Does no sexual activity include anal sex?”
I guarantee this will not be the first time they’ve been asked this. I’ve been asked it a number of times as an OB RN. Just ask.
No sexual activity usually means absolutely nothing, no loopholes at all. If you accidentally had fluids (or solids) from your rectum leak onto your surgical wounds, you’ll end up with a serious infection.
Also surgical wounds hurt so you may not feel like doing anything sexual and they can easily tear open again, and then you’d be risking (further) scarring.
Don’t take a silly risk that you would later regret. Don’t put your recovery at risk. Take the time to heal properly and get back to having sex after the doctor’s recommended recovery time. It’s the right thing to do for your health.
you can ask the gyno who is going to do the procedure at the time to clarify without asking your actual family doctor (if you can trust the gyno with your labia, you can trust them with the concept of anal sex)
but im gonna be honest, since this sounds wound care instructions…you should probably avoid anal along with any of your normal masturbatory or other non-penetrative acts of intimacy and just let your whole area heal with as little interference as possible.
anal can introduce a lot of bacteria to the whole area and it would be basically impossible to completely prevent all contamination. its also very possible that the normal pelvic clenching that happens from experiencing sexual pleasure may be a risk agaisnt healing itself, especially if theres going to be any sutures trying to stay closed
I would just ask your doctor to define sexual activity, and ask clarifying questions like, does that include anal penetration or oral stimulation.
And before people respond and say “well of course oral is okay, its nowhere near the area”, your doctor really should clarify if its sexual activity that’s out or sexual arousal altogether. The labia and area become flushed and swollen during arousal for women, so if its a procedure you’re having done of your labia, sexual arousal might be out altogether. Not trying to scare you, but this should definitely be asked.
Talk about it in more clinical terms. Can I do anal sex? Or anal sexual activity. Being older does not mean being chaste. Your doctor lived through the 80’s, possibly 70’s and 60s.
My mate Dave was wondering…..
Reschedule surgery. I can’t imagine that you would schedule a Surgery around sometime when you’re going to see your boyfriend that you haven’t seen in a long time in my mind. This makes no sense. You’re just inviting other kind of problems.
Why not just do oral?
Yes it does. Just say yes.
There is always the blowjob.
Just ask your doctor.
They have been asked before.
And, this is not a caae where its better to beg forgiveness
I’m not a doctor but I’m 100% the answer is yes it does don’t do anal.
Just ask. He’s a doctor he’s used to people coming to him about fecal impaction, hemmoroids, genital warts.
Trust me he doesnt give a fuck about your sex life.
He won’t care. Just ask- Does this also include external and anal sexual activity or only PIV?
I got confused at “Christian loophole” and didn’t read the rest…
As others have stated, just ask very matter of fact and be specific (oral, anal, etc). No doctor is going to flinch and it’s a legitimate and good question to ask.
People have no problem and will talk about and describe in graphic detail about pooping but somehow we all have a hang up about sex ( another bodily function). Just ask and be safe
Just a guess, but I think anal sex would also be something to avoid. A doctor should be able to handle this simple question. If he can’t, he’s not a professional and you should seek another doctor. Honestly, I wouldn’t be comfortable with a male OBGYN long term.
Message him through your patient portal so you don’t need to ask him directly or call. Ps the Christian loophole had me dying, never heard it being called like that lol
Just ask, but most likely oral is all you’ll be able to do. Depending on the procedure, anything filling up your rectum other than what’s normally in there could irritate things. But also any fluid that may come from your butt could get into your wounds and cause problems. No sexual activity usually means not even the loopholes.
Ask to be sure, but your recovery from a procedure is more important than getting off with your boyfriend.
Your doctor will be the only one who can tell you with certainty what they meant, but yes; Anal is sexual activity.
you could ask without asking – so instead of saying “does it include anal?” ask: “when you say no sexual activity, what exactly am i supposed to avoid?” or smth like that. essentially, clarify the exact problem sex poses (fluids close by, rubbing, idk what) and then make your own judgement call if that includes anal
Yeah, no that counts. It makes the everything there move, plus fluids probaly shouldnt be around there, might cause an infection.
I think you’re massively underestimating the legitimately insane questions doctors get asked on a regular basis.
“Does anal count?” Won’t even be the strangest question of the DAY!
Yeah id think less about the definition of what act counts as what and instead focus on what activity youre going to want to have within inches of a recent surgery site.
Ask them just like that. Does that include anal? I would also ask about arousal in general. My doctor gave me advice on blow jobs because I kept getting friction burns on the top of my mouth. So please just ask.
Yup. It’s sexual activity. Probably not worth it.
Doctor here- No sexual activity usually includes anal sex as well. Cuz, you know, anal sex is in fact sex
It REALLY sucks but I just know they’re going to say it’s a nogo. With family in the nursing field, I’ve learned there is no shame with Drs. They’ve already heard EVERYTHING unless it’s literally their first few years. But why it’s a no would likely be due to fluid or anything leaking onto the wounds causing infection. Like it said it *sucks* in your situation but it’s going to be very painful if that gets infected.
When my partner and I were both on antibiotics for chlamydia I asked the same thing. We mutually masturbated and used toys, as chlamydia can be found in the vagina, penis, mouth and anus 🫤
Just ask. Does sexual activity only include PIV? This might be a better way to ask.
Sexually active does include anal and oral
>Xmas plans so yknow…just telling me to put a zipper on everything and be a nun for another good month just doesn’t sound like it’s going to go to plan lol
It needs to be your plan unless you want a nasty infection or want to tear open your surgery scars.
Probably no butt stuff because everything is connected. Your boyfriend going in and out of your anus is going to cause a tug on your labia. Just ask the doctor if sexual activity includes anal sex.
How do you feel about oral sex. Should be no crossover points there. Maybe is orgasm you need to avoid.
No need to ask, because it is *very* much a sexual activity as far as your healing genitals care.
The risk is either ripping stitches or getting an infection.
So, either wait for a month or gamble.
If you are lucky you’ll be fine, if you are unlucky you might have to go without for many many months while the rotting meat that used to be your vulva heals.
My wife had placenta previa for one pregnancy. That means the placenta was covering part of her cervix. That can be mild or severe, depending on the exact location of the placenta, but if it is still covering the cervix at delivery, it becomes an unoptional caesarian because of (hopefully) obvious reasons. Thankfully, as the baby grew and uterus expanded, the placenta naturally moved up along the inside of the bigger belly, moving it safely out of the way.
Well during the diagnosis conversation, we were told “no sex.” So I asked the doctor if that meant we should also forgo any kind of sexual activity, meaning can she even have any orgasms even if we don’t to any penetrative actions? And the doctor thought about it and decided the pelvic contractions during an orgasm are enough of a proximity to risk of unnecessary bleeding that she thought it best to avoid.
So, be specific, and be explicit, with your doctors. If you are being mature about it and your doctor isn’t a creep or prude (tougher with older male doctors to say, but hopefully most are professional) they’ll appreciate the directness and thoughtfulness.
Also, a lot of doctors respect thoughtful and difficult mature questions asked in earnest. They are very highly educated people who spend years around other medical nerds and high achieving people and they spend all day everyday talking to people who are, statistically, very average, and many are very slow and dense in understanding their health, risks to their health, etc. Having a mature person ask a mature question can often be a breath of fresh air.
Just ask the questions you need to know what your risks will be. Say “I understand how my labia takes part of me out of play, but what are the concerns or risks, if any, in doing any anal activity?” If there’s a concern of fluid infecting a healing wound, maybe certain positions and using some kind of bandage can mitigate those risks. Maybe the physical impact of sexual thrusts posess its own risk, so either gentle sex or none at all.
Good luck!
It really seems to me that the risk of injury or infection isn’t worth it. You’re going to be recovering from surgery; as inconvenient as the timing is, if I were your partner I’d be more worried about hurting you than getting my dicj wet.
Definitely ask your doctor (“is anal sex too risky while I’m recovering from surgery or is there a way I can do it if we’re careful?”), but don’t push it if you don’t feel up to it.
Since you’re having a procedure on your labia, I would abstain from sexual activity. Even doing ‘backdoor” activities have the potential to irritate whatever you end up having done to your labial region. I’m not a doctor and I don’t know exactly what you’re having done, but you’ll most likely be cleared for sexual contact after a couple of weeks.
“Excuse me Dr. Am I allowed to do butt stuff during recovery?”
We always said nothing in the pelvis when I worked in women’s health to include all the options. So you could ask that if you didn’t feel comfortable asking more directly.
Of course it’s sexual activity. You are having sex – whether it’s vaginal or not.
No cheating the system …
You are having an incision on your labia. Please don’t have anal sex unless you’re looking for a skin infection. Being a nun for another month for your overall health is a no brainer.
Doctor here. This is a non issue. Ask away.
Stick to blowjobs. No sexual means exactly that.
I would assume it is included. If you’re anything like me, I get dripping wet during anal, so I imagine you need the area to stay clean and dry. I would avoid, if you change your mind you can probably call and ask the receptionist.
It mean none of if they meant vaginal they would say no PIV
I’d stick to BJ’s lass until you are all healed up.