How do you perceive attractiveness dynamics in a marriage?
December 15, 2025
When you see a couple where the man is more conventionally attractive, what assumptions if any come to mind?
27 comments
My husband is significantly better looking than I am and I just assume everyone thinks I’m really good in bed!
[removed]
There’s always going to be someone more attractive, it’s not always the woman.
I don’t make assumptions based on people’s appearances
None tbh. I assume that the person sees further than just skin deep. Beauty is subjective and in the eyes of the beholder. Just because you see the woman as less attractive doesn’t mean their partner does.
i spend very little time thinking about other peoples relationships, and absolutely no time comparing how attractive each partner is
I don’t see any of this often but when I do it’s typical less attractive male and I assume he has money. Most couples match fairly well
Good for her……she is most probably an amazing human being. .
That he just finds her attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all
I guess I don’t have any assumptions haha
I might assume the less attractive person has a great personality or sense of humor, or even just that the more attractive partner doesn’t value looks as much as other criteria in a partner.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I think it depends. When both partners are conventionally attractive, society tends to perceive the woman as more attractive until her thirties. After that, the man is often viewed as more attractive for the next twenty to thirty years. Eventually, both become largely invisible.
My bias leads me to believe that when an attractive man dates a woman who is not considered to be in his league, he is often less shallow and potentially more loyal. He is not with her out of necessity. He could leave if he wanted to. At the same time, I can’t ignore the possibility that this dynamic sometimes reflects limited access rather than pure preference. In other words, he may not have the financial or social capital to secure a woman of a “higher caliber.”
I think many men subconsciously understand that women who are “out of their league” tend to be higher maintenance and accustomed to a certain standard of living/treatment. I’ve had men tell me they felt they couldn’t afford me or that my standards were extremely high. I should acknowledge that I was born and raised in Los Angeles, so my perceptions are shaped by a culture that is unusually status driven and shallow, which likely skews how I interpret these dynamics.
I honestly never think about this. I prefer to judge based on their personality and how I interact with them. Never based on looks.
That he isn’t shallow? Or maybe he sees her as beautiful
Personally I find it rare for the man to be more attractive than the woman in heterosexual relationships. I feel like in my 32 years of life I can only think of maybe 1-2 examples of couples I’ve met in that category. In general I feel like couples are equally attractive or the woman is more attractive than the man. So I don’t think I really have an opinion on it. The few examples I can think of, the woman was not the most attractive but was extremely sweet, kind and funny.
I don’t really think much about it to be honest. Here is why:
– If they are a random couple on the street, I barely notice others. I’m doing my own thing and forget them inside of a few seconds.
– If they are a couple at a social gathering, I’m usually too wrapped up in talking or trying to not make a fool of myself.
– If they are friends, I know them. I’m happy to see my friends and probably have a skewed opinion of their individual attractiveness anyway. People I like are remarkably more beautiful than people I dont know or dislike.
When the King told Laila that she was not nearly as attractive as Majnu described in his words she said you are not my Majnu. The king’s assumptions are meaningless to Laila and Majnu and so are mine.
I would assume they aren’t so shallow as to believe their partner’s looks are the only trait that can be attractive.
Is it rlly common for people to be analyzing others and determining who is more ‘conventionally attractive’?
Because tbh men who are out with a woman are like amorphous blobs to me i dont rlly notice them at all
unlikely I’d even notice, unless the difference is huge like literally one very beautiful and the other way below average. but it’s beauty in my eyes.
I try not to make any assumptions based on someone’s attractiveness. I hope all people are choosing their partner for more than just their conventional attractiveness. Plus everyone’s got their own things they’re physically attracted to. Like I can recognize someone is conventionally attractive. But there’s plenty of times I am not attracted to those people. And there is for sure some people I’m attracted to that do not float others boats.
Money come first, and the love comes second…
I have never seen a men that is more attractive in a relationship. It’s always the woman that is dating down (in terms of looks). I assume she has low self esteem or doesn’t know how pretty she is.
Honestly I try not to make assumptions about couples based on looks alone because you never really know what drew them together – could be personality, shared interests, amazing chemistry, or just that they genuinely find each other attractive in ways that aren’t obvious to outsiders
I always think they are men who truly know what they want out of life. They love their peace and comfort with they’re soulmate.
As none of my business. My personal opinion about the attractiveness of any person in any other relationship is entirely irrelevant. The two people in that relationship may believe that each other are the most stunning and beautiful individuals they have ever seen in their lives. What difference does it make whether I think one or the other of them is more or less attractive to me? Totally irrelevant, so I don’t even bother to think that way. I generally assume that if they are together and love each other then they are attracted to each other and that’s good for them.
27 comments
My husband is significantly better looking than I am and I just assume everyone thinks I’m really good in bed!
[removed]
There’s always going to be someone more attractive, it’s not always the woman.
I don’t make assumptions based on people’s appearances
None tbh. I assume that the person sees further than just skin deep. Beauty is subjective and in the eyes of the beholder. Just because you see the woman as less attractive doesn’t mean their partner does.
i spend very little time thinking about other peoples relationships, and absolutely no time comparing how attractive each partner is
I don’t see any of this often but when I do it’s typical less attractive male and I assume he has money. Most couples match fairly well
Good for her……she is most probably an amazing human being. .
That he just finds her attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all
I guess I don’t have any assumptions haha
I might assume the less attractive person has a great personality or sense of humor, or even just that the more attractive partner doesn’t value looks as much as other criteria in a partner.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I think it depends. When both partners are conventionally attractive, society tends to perceive the woman as more attractive until her thirties. After that, the man is often viewed as more attractive for the next twenty to thirty years. Eventually, both become largely invisible.
My bias leads me to believe that when an attractive man dates a woman who is not considered to be in his league, he is often less shallow and potentially more loyal. He is not with her out of necessity. He could leave if he wanted to. At the same time, I can’t ignore the possibility that this dynamic sometimes reflects limited access rather than pure preference. In other words, he may not have the financial or social capital to secure a woman of a “higher caliber.”
I think many men subconsciously understand that women who are “out of their league” tend to be higher maintenance and accustomed to a certain standard of living/treatment. I’ve had men tell me they felt they couldn’t afford me or that my standards were extremely high. I should acknowledge that I was born and raised in Los Angeles, so my perceptions are shaped by a culture that is unusually status driven and shallow, which likely skews how I interpret these dynamics.
I honestly never think about this. I prefer to judge based on their personality and how I interact with them. Never based on looks.
That he isn’t shallow? Or maybe he sees her as beautiful
Personally I find it rare for the man to be more attractive than the woman in heterosexual relationships. I feel like in my 32 years of life I can only think of maybe 1-2 examples of couples I’ve met in that category. In general I feel like couples are equally attractive or the woman is more attractive than the man. So I don’t think I really have an opinion on it. The few examples I can think of, the woman was not the most attractive but was extremely sweet, kind and funny.
I don’t really think much about it to be honest. Here is why:
– If they are a random couple on the street, I barely notice others. I’m doing my own thing and forget them inside of a few seconds.
– If they are a couple at a social gathering, I’m usually too wrapped up in talking or trying to not make a fool of myself.
– If they are friends, I know them. I’m happy to see my friends and probably have a skewed opinion of their individual attractiveness anyway. People I like are remarkably more beautiful than people I dont know or dislike.
When the King told Laila that she was not nearly as attractive as Majnu described in his words she said you are not my Majnu. The king’s assumptions are meaningless to Laila and Majnu and so are mine.
I would assume they aren’t so shallow as to believe their partner’s looks are the only trait that can be attractive.
Is it rlly common for people to be analyzing others and determining who is more ‘conventionally attractive’?
Because tbh men who are out with a woman are like amorphous blobs to me i dont rlly notice them at all
unlikely I’d even notice, unless the difference is huge like literally one very beautiful and the other way below average. but it’s beauty in my eyes.
I try not to make any assumptions based on someone’s attractiveness. I hope all people are choosing their partner for more than just their conventional attractiveness. Plus everyone’s got their own things they’re physically attracted to. Like I can recognize someone is conventionally attractive. But there’s plenty of times I am not attracted to those people. And there is for sure some people I’m attracted to that do not float others boats.
Money come first, and the love comes second…
I have never seen a men that is more attractive in a relationship. It’s always the woman that is dating down (in terms of looks). I assume she has low self esteem or doesn’t know how pretty she is.
Honestly I try not to make assumptions about couples based on looks alone because you never really know what drew them together – could be personality, shared interests, amazing chemistry, or just that they genuinely find each other attractive in ways that aren’t obvious to outsiders
I always think they are men who truly know what they want out of life. They love their peace and comfort with they’re soulmate.
As none of my business. My personal opinion about the attractiveness of any person in any other relationship is entirely irrelevant. The two people in that relationship may believe that each other are the most stunning and beautiful individuals they have ever seen in their lives. What difference does it make whether I think one or the other of them is more or less attractive to me? Totally irrelevant, so I don’t even bother to think that way. I generally assume that if they are together and love each other then they are attracted to each other and that’s good for them.