28M I’ve never had a gf, kiss, or first date despite trying to get those. I want a girlfriend so bad and it seems like there’s literally nothing I can do to get one. I’m not sure how people even meet nowadays. I’m convinced that dating ultimately comes down to luck. Ways that I’ve been unsuccessful in meeting women, there’s a person I know who has found their girlfriend in that same way. My phone has been dry for at least a year. It’s been a while since I’ve texted or talked to a woman. Girlfriend aside, I just want women to show interest in me. It seems like I’m not worthy of being liked or loved by women. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. It sucks so bad. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. Every day I wake up to this torture. The only thing I want for Christmas is a girlfriend, unfortunately money can’t buy that. I see couples around me with a women loving their man and I think to myself how did she get to that point to love him like that. I can’t even get my foot in the door. Women don’t even look at me in public. I get out the house and go places hopping to meet a woman and I never do. I see beautiful, gorgeous women when I go places and think I would love to get to know her, or would love to have a gf that looks like her. It’s just a tease. Women don’t like to be approached. I literally don’t even see how I would be able to meet a woman now. Dating apps don’t work for me, approaching women doesn’t work. Social groups don’t work. There are no social events anymore. At least in the small city where I live. Whenever I go places everyone just huddles up and stays to their own social circle. It just hurts so bad wanting something that everyone else can get easily, yet it seems impossible for me. I want to love a woman and take care of her and have a great time and enjoy each other’s company. I just want romance, I want to feel loved. I’ve never experienced that before at my age. The worst part is that I’m getting older. All the women my age are getting taken and the young women will think I’m too old. I feel like I missed my time to find my partner. At 28, I feel like I’m running out of time. No woman in her low 20s is going to want to date a guy who’s almost 30. I just hate that this is my reality. It hunts me everyday and there’s literally nothing I can do about it.
I just wanted a place to rant and express myself. Thank you if you read it all, though.
Probably will delete soon.
14 comments
Stop assuming women don’t want you to approach. Ensure that you are giving her the looks so she can give you the signals that she wants to be approached. Also ask a friend or here to critique how you approach which maybe tweaked if you come on too strong. And 28 is not too old and don’t look at the age and get to know a multitude of people but I do understand how you feel. People keep telling me I’m pretty but no one ever approaches or deathly afraid to look at me unless they have had drinks and get the courage. So I wish a guy would approach.
Talk to a therapist. Make sure you have hobbies. Can you hold a conversation online and in person? Can you listen? Are you kind? Hygienic? Are your expectations realistic? Do you come off as creepy or desperate? Are women feeling seen and not objectified? Do you know how to dress? Have you worked on yourself? Are you interesting? Dating and adulting take work. You’re not old. Stop trying to mack on coeds.
Why do you want a girlfriend so badly?
Life is still beautiful without a partner.
And I do not understand what you mean by “it’s too late” for you. You are only 28 years old.
I’m 39 and have never had trouble dating.
I know it can be different for men, but you are far too young to think that it’s over for you.
i’m 23 but feel you dude
there’s nothing i can do to stop wanting connection, but i try to focus on my hobbies and improving my life. just sitting with the longing is very uncomfortable
I’m a good looking dude I approach women man & a lot of them will exchange contacts and still play games or not respond as a whole, it’s mostly not even worth it man, unfortunately.
You’re not alone. I’m alone with my dog for Christmas
No woman in her low 20’s is gonna wanna date a guy who’s almost thirty, but women closer to your own age might.
I didn’t start dating until I was 31. Never had a girlfriend, been kissed, any of that. Not gonna pretend like things have gone stellar for me since but I manage to scrounge up a few dates every now and then and even a kiss once in a blue moon. I also only try to date women within 5 years of my age. If you want like, a fun young 21-year-old whose brain isn’t fully developed yet and doesn’t have experience/standards and absolutely nobody else, that’s a red flag about you.
maybe moving to a bigger city will help if you can
Bro you have this fantasy version of women in your life many times people have their lives completely ruined by women like this Michigan coach it’s all about perspective.
And when I say this it’s not women’s fault it’s our own mentality as men that gets us into trouble. Live your life and hit the gym and make friends and save money and things will fall into place but don’t get with women out of horniness or desperation it will get you into a lot of trouble.
The holidays alone are awful I’m sorry you’re having a rough time in the space. I’ve been there the last couple years since my last partner and I broke up. I’m currently in like mid talking stage it’s still not the best. I’d focus on hobbies of self improvement and once you just start focusing on stuff like that I feel it’ll come as time goes. You’re not even 30 your clock isn’t running low 🙂
28 and never ever even a kiss ? You told us how bad you want someone but why is this happening? Why do you think you are in this position? What do You think about yourself? How is your self confidence? What steps did you take to meet another person ?
Also money can buy a relationship but in a short run 🥲
You sound too hyper focused on dating when it’s one of those things that you just have to be patient for if you want a good relationship. You don’t want to be with just anyone who gives you attention. It sucks tht we don’t have control of when romance enters our lives, but the only thing you can do is continue living, and take care of yourself mentally and physically.
Relationships can seem cool from the outside, sex is cool, sure, but real relationships are way more than just sex, and you need to keep in mind that when you get into a relationship, it takes communication and mental work. You may really want a girlfriend now, but I wouldn’t be so quick to get there.
Take your time. It’s infinitely better to be single and wait for the right person than to be in a bad relationship just because you don’t want to be lonely.
Why are you only after women in their low 20’s? That’s really weird…
Then you date women in your age range. Get some therapy dude. It’s not that hard to talk to women, but they smell desperation on us. Chill dude. Make sure you have your shit together, like emotional as well as material, read a book, read a few, nervous plus obsessive = nope. Humor is a great way to start a conversation with people. Not fart jokes with the guys type funny either.