My ex and I dated on and off for 12+ years. We were each other’s best friends for over a decade and understandably have a huge amount of history. The highs were high and the lows were equally bad – the typical toxic relationship that seemed passionate at the time.
The last time we met was during a local festival in October. This was us catching up as exes after months of no contact. I was wearing a traditional dress, we joked about how this is how I’d look if we got married. We had dinner, joked about the past, took one last picture together and then he drove me back. He held my hand in the car and I immediately bad tears rolling down my face because we both knew this was the last time we’re meeting. The whole city outside was celebrating while two hearts were silently breaking inside the car while holding hands. We hugged goodbye, wished each other well and that was the last time we spoke or saw each other.
Fast forward to last week, someone told me he sold his old car and bought a new one. We’d been discussing him buying a new car for years. I always insisted on a sedan and he’d always fight me on it saying he’d never drive a sedan cuz he’s always been an SUV guy. He bought a sedan. He had me blocked on Instagram with his profile of private but he unblocked me and made his page public so I could see lol. I wanted to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I saw his new car and I congratulated him.
He asked me if I’d meet him one last time before the year ends and of course I want to say yes. But I feel like there’s something poetic and perfect about the last time we met. That car is gone. That night is gone. And so are we. I love knowing the last time he ever saw me was a glimpse of how I’d look if we ever got married, instead of the ex he hooked up with after drinks on a random weekend (I know that will end up happening if we meet) It’s cinematic. It’s perfect. I don’t wanna “taint” that goodbye, you know? And I also think there’s something beautifully sad about me never sitting in his new car, the one we discussed for years, the sedan I always wanted and he never did.
I know I might be being too dramatic with this lol. What would you do in this situation?
TL;DR
Ex of 12+ years and I had a perfectly cinematic last meeting and now I’m wondering if we should meet one last time before the year ends but also worried it might ruin the last memory.