Just wanted to share an argument we had tonight.Me [F30] and him [M30]both go to the gym religiously and are really into it, he is a professional bodybuilder and I’m getting into that realm too. I work 9-5 whereas he does shifts and doesn’t need to get up early. I train in the morning so get up at 5:30 so that we can have evenings together.
We agreed to go to bed at 11pm tonight, and I was probably pestering him a bit about this because I was tired but I said I would stay up until 11. It came to 11 and he was still watching tv and then said he wanted to stay up. I said okay but I would’ve gone to bed earlier had I known that. Admittedly I had been moaning a bit but was very chilled and just got into bed. No biggie I thought.
He then proceeds to have a massive go at me, saying I’ve wound him up and why am I so fixated on timings. I explained why and he kept saying “that’s your choice I would go after work”. I said if I went after work we then wouldn’t have evenings so I can’t win.
He then started shouting at me Telling me im selfish and “hard work”. I then went for a drive because I was an anxious wreck by this point. I came back and got into bed and was still anxious so had my Phone on very very quietly. I got up to pee and then back into bed to try and sleep, he then goes mad about me going for a drive and sitting on my phone, I said I was trying to distract myself and he said it kept him awake. He then wanted to leave the house and I was sobbing and hysterical at this point begging him to stay. He was absolutely livid and I kept asking why as it just seemed so disproportionate to me.
I’ve since been sat sobbing for about an hour and he has just gone to bed and doesn’t seem bothered. I begged him to try and make amends and he told me To fuck off.
He has a horrendous angry side and I just can’t cope with it as someone who hates conflict and has been in abusive relationships before.
We seem to have very different styles of coping with arguments. It’s not 3am and I’m wide awake having been crying for an hour on my own whilst he’s sleeping.
TLDR; boyfriend extremely angry because I was eager to go to bed early as I have to get up at 5:30 am to train at the gym 5x a week. He is able to sleep immediately whilst I am lying sobbing next to him.