My first pregnancy and postpartum experience was insufferable and I was so unhappy I gained 100+ pounds. Then once my son was around 2 I lost the weight and found myself again. My husband talked me into having another baby in January of this year and told me he’d make sure this was incredibly different from my first time. And it’s been 10x worse.
Last Wednesday I was sitting on the couch breastfeeding our baby and I kept getting a call from some girl on Facebook messenger. I finally looked at the message and it was a screenshot of him asking an ex friend of mine to meet up with him after he dropped our toddler off at preschool to smoke weed and fuck. He has a job at our local hospital and he gets random drug tests… so, he risked his job and lost his family in one message. Me and the friend he was cheating with were on the outs for her being a horrible person and I had her blocked so I assume he thought by reaching out to her, I’d never find out because I had her blocked. What baffles me the most is this friend of mine is obese and just truthfully not a good looking woman, not that it matters but it’s just bizarre she’s the friend he went for out of everyone. I’m so hurt and confused.
I almost died in the delivery room a month ago. My baby was 10 pounds 4 ounces and the doctors didn’t know he would be that big. He got stuck in my birth canal and he almost stopped breathing and they thought I was going to hemorrhage. The ended up getting him out with a vaccum. Due to the trauma and size of our baby, I lost my ability to hold my urine and bm’s for 3-4 weeks. I just gained back control and he was still trying to have sex with me during this time.
I’m currently living with my mom and dad again. He texts me every day begging for his family back but the level of disrespect and the comfortability he had doing this just solidifies to me that there’s probably so much more I’m unaware of. I just am now facing the new reality of co-parenting with someone I thought I’d be growing old with. Not to mention, I’ve been a stay home mom since I had our first baby and have absolutely nothing to fall back on for myself. I entrusted him with my life and our children’s lives completely. Does this get any better? I’m so confused and lost about what my new reality looks like and how to navigate this.