TL;DR – Strong family history of breast cancer. Oncologist advised that my mother should do a genetic test first (200€), but she refuses. If I do it myself, it’s 1,000€ and less informative. I feel alone and frustrated. What would you do?
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Hello everyone,
I’m feeling a bit lost and would love some outside perspective.
My grandmother, aunt, and mother all had breast cancer. I recently saw an oncologist who recommended doing genetic testing, but explained it would be much more informative if my mother did the test first. In France, her test would cost around 200€, whereas if I do it myself, it’s about 1,000€. Plus, if she had a mutation, it would help both me and my sister understand our risks.
The problem is that my mother refuses to take the test, even after I offered to pay half. She says she was diagnosed “late, in her 40s,” so she thinks the risk isn’t that high for us and that we just need to “stay healthy.” I honestly don’t understand her reaction, and my sister doesn’t want to get involved.
I feel really alone in this. I don’t want to call my mother selfish, but it does feel unfair that she won’t spend 200€ (even with my help) when the alternative is me paying 1,000€ and getting less reliable information.
What would you do in my situation? How should I handle this?