Some of my worst and most embarrassing, even traumatic moments have been a result of drinking too much, but it still hasn't stopped me.
I try and justify it by saying it's just beer and wine… not the real hard stuff. Beer I can seem to manage having one, and calling it a night. As soon as I hit the wine though, it's glass after glass until the bottle is gone… and it's usually just me.
When the work week was over, my first instinct was to crack a bottle open at dinner time and enjoy the evening. I earned it, I tell myself. I've become so used to having a drink at dinner time, it's hard not to crave it sometimes. I just don't know when to stop when the wine starts flowing. And I guzzle it like it's water the more I go through the bottle.
I've struggled with anxiety and depression throughout most of my life. I particularly turn to a drink in social settings because it helps me loosen up. In the end, I usually just make a jack ass of myself. It was kind of funny when I was in my 20's. Now? Not so much…
I've put on weight. I've gone to bed feeling absolutely disgusting after pounding a bottle of wine and gorging on food all night. I'm starting to look like garbage and feel like garbage.
I guess I'm still functional and doing what I gotta do, so I guess it doesn't feel like a big problem. My body is telling me otherwise though.