That’s not a thing. You can’t get the dopamine back. Focus on intimate connection
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Choosing/putting myself first. I caught him cheating on me with a co worker so instead of getting angry, I went from people pleaser to only pleasing me. I was motivated by the fact of planning my exit, but now he’s obsessed with me because I’ve lost a lot of weight so I’ve glowed up hard, I’m happier despite the hell he’s created for me (this happened 4 months ago, I’m trying to still get out of this there are just complexities to my situation I need to handle first). Was bummed out when he told me he wants to be with me forever.
Get some therapy, hun. It seems like you are still reeling from your breakup and focusing on the wrong things. Work on you, healing, letting him go and moving forward. What you want isn’t healthy.
Distance
The problem is that “obsession” isn’t normal. Long, healthy partnerships rarely mention an “obsession”. Do you really need to resort to going on the Internet to find tricks to get him to a temporary state of “obsession”?
He never stopped. Not sure why, I don’t think I’m all that but he does apparently. 21 years and counting.
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He collected 5 other gfs unbeknown to me. Two were doing IVF. I left him after discovering the double life he was living. After conducting his comparative research, he became even more obsessed with me that he became delusional.
I don’t think he’s ever been obsessed with me lol
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Giving regular, out of this world, surprise oral sex. Changed our entire relationship dynamic
Isn’t being in a calmer relationship better? After a couple of years? Yes, we both are attracted to each other after years, but obsessed? That’s some mentally draining gymnastics.
Having boundaries
My husband has never once not been obsessed with me. He, from our first date, thinks I hung the moon. We have been together 10 years and not a day goes by that man doesn’t look at me in the mornings and says how beutiful I am. He calls me everyday from his job because he wants to talk to me. I’ve been obese, depressed, suicidal, and super fit and healthy and anything in between with him and he still thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world.
You deserve that.
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Speaking as a guy it’s anything she does to make me obsessed. Like any partner I’ve been madly in love with just tried every now and then rather than thinking/acting like I was just lucky to be with them. Any sort of effort to be desirable got me to fall in love every day.
Putting a hex on them
When I stopped overgiving and just focused on myself. The second I became busy living my own life again, he suddenly remembered how much he liked being part of it.
My wife and I lived together for a few years before I had to move cities for work. Long distance is rough, but we still saved up to see each other at least every other month. With time, however our relationship became just “comfortable”, we loved each other, but our connection was more based of trust and companionship rather than the raw passion we used to get.
This year, when I went on vacation I got us a few classes for a common intimate hobby we shared and it was truly a rekindling experience. Just by working on something together and helping each other learn by practicing made us se each under a new light. From that moment on we focused more and more or doing things we both liked together, Im not talking abt going to a restaurant, Im talking about niche things that are special to us. For us it was dressing up and going to ren faires, practicing shibari, buying groceries together to decide on a fancy meal to cook for ourselves.
We’ve been together for quite a while and we have had an open relationship since day one, but as time went by we barely engaged with other people because we enjoy each other’s company far more.
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He didn’t. He moved right on to love bomb someone else.
23 comments
I started making better sandwiches.
That’s not a thing. You can’t get the dopamine back. Focus on intimate connection
[removed]
Choosing/putting myself first. I caught him cheating on me with a co worker so instead of getting angry, I went from people pleaser to only pleasing me. I was motivated by the fact of planning my exit, but now he’s obsessed with me because I’ve lost a lot of weight so I’ve glowed up hard, I’m happier despite the hell he’s created for me (this happened 4 months ago, I’m trying to still get out of this there are just complexities to my situation I need to handle first). Was bummed out when he told me he wants to be with me forever.
Get some therapy, hun. It seems like you are still reeling from your breakup and focusing on the wrong things. Work on you, healing, letting him go and moving forward. What you want isn’t healthy.
Distance
The problem is that “obsession” isn’t normal. Long, healthy partnerships rarely mention an “obsession”. Do you really need to resort to going on the Internet to find tricks to get him to a temporary state of “obsession”?
He never stopped. Not sure why, I don’t think I’m all that but he does apparently. 21 years and counting.
[removed]
He collected 5 other gfs unbeknown to me. Two were doing IVF. I left him after discovering the double life he was living. After conducting his comparative research, he became even more obsessed with me that he became delusional.
I don’t think he’s ever been obsessed with me lol
[removed]
Giving regular, out of this world, surprise oral sex. Changed our entire relationship dynamic
Isn’t being in a calmer relationship better? After a couple of years? Yes, we both are attracted to each other after years, but obsessed? That’s some mentally draining gymnastics.
Having boundaries
My husband has never once not been obsessed with me. He, from our first date, thinks I hung the moon. We have been together 10 years and not a day goes by that man doesn’t look at me in the mornings and says how beutiful I am. He calls me everyday from his job because he wants to talk to me. I’ve been obese, depressed, suicidal, and super fit and healthy and anything in between with him and he still thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world.
You deserve that.
[removed]
Speaking as a guy it’s anything she does to make me obsessed. Like any partner I’ve been madly in love with just tried every now and then rather than thinking/acting like I was just lucky to be with them. Any sort of effort to be desirable got me to fall in love every day.
Putting a hex on them
When I stopped overgiving and just focused on myself. The second I became busy living my own life again, he suddenly remembered how much he liked being part of it.
My wife and I lived together for a few years before I had to move cities for work. Long distance is rough, but we still saved up to see each other at least every other month. With time, however our relationship became just “comfortable”, we loved each other, but our connection was more based of trust and companionship rather than the raw passion we used to get.
This year, when I went on vacation I got us a few classes for a common intimate hobby we shared and it was truly a rekindling experience. Just by working on something together and helping each other learn by practicing made us se each under a new light. From that moment on we focused more and more or doing things we both liked together, Im not talking abt going to a restaurant, Im talking about niche things that are special to us. For us it was dressing up and going to ren faires, practicing shibari, buying groceries together to decide on a fancy meal to cook for ourselves.
We’ve been together for quite a while and we have had an open relationship since day one, but as time went by we barely engaged with other people because we enjoy each other’s company far more.
[removed]
He didn’t. He moved right on to love bomb someone else.