So I've finally gotten to the conclusion for the reason why I fall for people ( I'm demisexual ) so it takes me a extremely long time sometimes even years to like someone. ( I don't fall for everybody I see just random )
Is really just due to loneliness. I'm not close with my family like that and my friends are married and have kids. I also cannot relate to them because I'm a virgin and have no interest in being sexually active.
Also my siblings are all in relationships as well talk about sex and stuff often cannot relate to them either try to.
Despite going out constantly doing things anything you can think of I've done. I can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely.. I could get hugs from friends but feel nothing.
I've also as I mentioned in previous post I am in therapy and of course I'm learning and I take medicine
This last heartbreak really exposed how lonely I feel and even sense I was a kid I was lonely.
I guess what I'm saying is for me it's just how I cope in a way and also people were not kind of me as a child teenager or adult I was bullied as an adult as well.
Anyways that's the conclusion and probably my last post of 2025 maybe one day my situation will change i guess.
If you ask my age I'm 26 will be 27 next year.