Monday was the return of the Elf, and advent calendars. There have been other ‘memories’ I have been left out of. Easter, Valentine’s Day. I guess things that I have memories of growing up. It’s not that Im not home, I worked shift work. No one would even try to wake me up. And no, it wasn’t late. Like 8:00am. I have brought this up before, and it felt brushed off like the girls were excited, they wanted to open and see what they got.
I could never imagine either one of my parents allowing this growing up. It feels extremely disrespectful.
So Monday, I was up before her. The girls were up and excited for the Elf and advent calendars, I asked them to get ready (dressed for the day) and we would wait for their mom to get up. I went out for a smoke and went back inside about 15 minutes later. Coffee was brewing, everything was opened, and I just felt and still feel defeated and unimportant. Like I’m just here to pay bills and be told that I don’t contribute enough. I’m so tired. I’m not perfect, but it isn’t right.