This past year was the first year I’ve tried dating seriously in a long time. I’ve been on the apps, and went on a bunch of dates. There were only two men I met that I really liked in the past 10-ish months though. The first one we dated for 3 weeks, and the he started acting suspicious. He was about to go on a work trip, and said he was having a friend visit from out of town a few nights before he left. Then when he got back, instead of hanging out with me, he had friends over the night he hit back. I was already suspicious, he was on his phone a bit much. So I was a bit irritated but asked him via text if this was more casual, or if he thought this was honing to go anywhere. He dumped me the next morning saying I had attachment issues, and that he didn’t like my tone in my text. I said I should’ve told him in person, and that things are misunderstood via text. Anyway, that was that. I just saw that he’s “partnered” with someone.
The next person I really liked started off really strong. But after two weeks it was like a switch was flipped and he said he “didn’t feel the spark.” I thought that maybe he was just scared because he had just ended an 8 year relationship before he met me. We ended up reconnecting pretty soon after he initially broke it off and dated for 3.5 months, but then would break up with me or attempt to every 2 weeks. We would talk it out until I finally said I couldn’t do that anymore. When we last talked I said I thought you were just scared, but I guess I’m not what you want. He said he didn’t know what he wanted and wasn’t ready. 3 months post break up he’s on hinge looking for a “long term relationship.”
So my question is, clearly this is just from my perspective, but am I doing something to make men disinterested in me? I wouldn’t be concerned, but this feels like a life long thing. I’ve only been in one 2 year relationship when I was 16, and haven’t been in one since. I was anti relationship for a while, but even then, if I met someone I liked, they pulled away from me fast. I don’t think I’m overly clingy. Idk. I need some advice. I think I like them too much and it pushes them away.