Husband (m40) of 17 years says my (f40) communication sucks and he feels like he's always trying to pull the information about me. And I don't talk with him "enough" and he has to find out things last minute because I'm not discussing things in advance ( I really don't mean to do that, I won't know the info myself until the day of and such. Furthermore I kinda disagree with that statement or see it from a different perspective) he said are we like roommates? Are we married?? I don't know sometimes!? He also started off this conversation with a big critique of me accusing me that "you care more about animals than people, how about worry about people?? " (because over the past week I shared two animal post from a shelter on my social Media . I told him I completely disagree. I do care about people. I've shared posts about shelter animals over the years and he's brought this up before and it really bothers him for some reason.
He WFH full time and feels like I don't converse with him enough during the day. Like I'll send him text to say leaving to pick up the kids instead of coming into his office and telling him. I said it's because he's on the phone. He said he's not doing top secret stuff- i can interrupt . (Also, probably sounds mean but I don't want to walk to the basement and tell him every little thing when I've already told him what I'm doing for the day, so that's probably why I've done that but okay , fine I'm willing to change to his preference. )Which is the exact same thing I always do . I work ten hours over two days a week, and take and pick up the kids from school. Other than that I'm HOME. Like what do you really need me to tell you. I never leave to anything else unless were all together as a family.
I suggested counseling and he said well if I told you what was wrong ( which he did, the communication issues on my part) then you can fix it . What do we need counseling for? I brought it up again, no comment from him and I even said counseling just for me ,and he said nothing on that and just skipped over it and continued the conversation.
TL- DR – husband on his last nerve with me and my "lack of communication" I suggested counseling for us or me and he thinks we don't really need that because he informed me of the "problem" and/ so I can simply fix it. Honestly, I'm about done with all of this and marriage for other reasons, but it's all just stressing me out overall. My lack of communication probably comes from his temper. It's not easy talking to him knowing he could get mad. Obviously, he's not going to get mad if we're just saying good morning and talking about a work schedule but just other things in general over the years. It's severely distanced me emotionally. How can I get that through to him? He claims ithe communication issues and probably just issues in general are my problem or because of me But it's definitely partly him and I really think we need counseling to work on or issues because otherwise I want out. I know he would faint if I actually said that out loud because he has a perfect answer for everything I say or bring up and pretty much acts like he's never at fault.