So I told my bf who I’ve been dating for just over a year now that I’m uncomfortable with unprotected intercourse because I’m scared of getting pregnant, but he doesn’t want to use condoms because it’s unlikely I’ll get pregnant since he’ll pull out anyways and he says it will feel less good for him. But I’ve told him multiple times I’m uncomfortable doing it without protection because there is still a good chance of pregnancy (through pre cum) but he says it’ll never happen and I’m just worrying for no reason. I brought it up today and he said “fine but you gotta pay for it and hide it at your house”. Is this fair? Idk I’m just confused so I’d love to hear some thoughts on this
Edit: I haven’t actually had intercourse with him yet, but he keeps pushing it and always talks to me sexually and I said I’m only comfortable with it if he uses protection but he says no he won’t and that I need to just be comfortable without protection. He even said doing it raw feels better for both of us and I’m being selfish for denying him pleasure
31 comments
It doesn’t sound like he values your comfort or your opinion. A good partner would want you to feel as comfortable as possible.
Not using protection is stupid. How do you think he’d react if you were to get pregnant?
Don’t have sex with him if he’s whining about not wearing a condom. Pull-out method is how my friend got pregnant when we were 16, lol. It’s like, got to be the least effective way of doing things.
I feel like if people are using condoms for sex then both parties should be supplying them, not just on one single person in the partnership, but that’s just me. It sounds like he’s mad that you want to use condoms and that’s why he’s wanting you to purchase them/keep them at your place.
Men never can take accountability 😭 holy why is bro making a fuss over it. It never ever even crossed my mind that either my gf or i had to pay for “protection” cause we didn’t care who paid as long as it did its job lol. And saying that hes gonna “pull out” is just a lie if i was a girl id feel really uncomfortable if my bf said this cause where is the reassurance?
Sex isnt just about pleasure and just shooting a load into someone its the purest form of connection. But many men or women see it just as quick pleasure.
Id definitely have a talk with him. Set boundaries and tell him you wont go into intercourse until those boundaries are met.
Don’t have sex with him bruh. Any reasonable guy would wrap it up if their partner requested it. He ain’t worth the risk.
ETA: Just saw your edit. This dude is trying to guilt trip you to pressure you into sex you aren’t comfortable with. HUGE red flag. At this point dump the guy and never talk to him again.
He’s making it very clear that doesn’t care about you, your body, or your wishes. Tell him he can find someone else to stick it in.
Pulling out? Seriously? That is y’all’s birth control? I’ll bet you a pack of newborn diapers you’re pregnant within a year.
Stop having intercourse with him. I understand that you are young and maybe don’t want to cause conflict but this is a manipulation tactic and that still doesn’t mean he’ll want to use it (even if you buy them). The biggest issue isn’t that he doesn’t want to buy it, it’s that he’s not willing to use it. He’s putting your health at risk and that’s hella foolish for him. As a women who is in there late 30s with a baby.. this would ABSOLUTELY be unsustainable for me at 18. If you do give in and buy the protection, MAKE SURE you use it every single time. If you don’t have it, no sex. Especially since he doesn’t want to buy it, I guess you get to decide when he has sex.
Edit after seeing your edit: ummmmmm… dump him. I know that’s reddits answer to everything but this applies heavily here. Men who are adamant about not having kids and not getting diseases wear condoms.
If you don’t want to get pregnant, find a birth control that works for you cause relying on some dude isn’t going to be best for you. Protect yourself. But definitely stop having sex with this guy
Protection isn’t just your responsibility, it’s a shared one.
You’re the one facing the physical risks, the health effects, and the possibility of pregnancy, so him refusing condoms and then telling you to pay for everything is a huge red flag. If he values his comfort over your safety, that’s also not healthy or respectful. If he’s already talking like this, he doesn’t sound like someone who’s going to step up if a pregnancy actually happens which it CAN. Probable chances that he’ll dip, because if he won’t even pay for basic protection which is the cheapest part of the whole situation. There’s no way he’s suddenly going to take responsibility for something a hundred times bigger.
Girl this guy is a moron. Don’t have sex with morons.
It’s very likely to get pregnant using the pull out method. This man is just stupid and you deserve better.
Girls who use the withdrawal method are called teen mothers. If you’re going to keep having sex, get condoms, go on the pill, protect yourself. If you need to pay for them, go ahead. Anything is better than pregnancy.
And you want to continue having sex with a man who can’t even care to do bare minimum?
This dude is going to end up as a teenage dad.
I don’t want to sound harsh but there is a problem here or two
Pull out is not safe
You boyfriend is wrong
I am a bit concerned with him not caring you might get pregnant and dumping the responsibility on you
He would probably do the same if you did get pregnant…
You could share the cost.
It is much cheaper than a baby
I would also recommend a backup birthcontrol
And let us not forget the diseases you can get with unprotected sex
Have you been tested ?
UGH i JUST delt with an AH like this. hes selfish as fuck. Imagine whining about not wanting to wear a condom bc it doesnt feel good. Hes prioritizing his orgasm over YOUR health. you’re not a pocket pussy. Tell him to buy one
Your boyfriend is a cheap idot.
First off the pull out method is extremely unreliable. Especially with an 18 year old who likely lacks self control. I personally know an 18 year old girl that has a “pull out” baby. Second, is he actually so cheap that he won’t pay $4 for a pack of condoms to have sex with you and demands that you pay.
Please drop this looser and don’t let him anywhere near your vagina.
So what I’m reading is, your boyfriend doesn’t give a single fuck about your health or wellbeing.
And pull out method is called actively trying to have a baby. Ask my two year old how well pull out method works.
Your boyfriend is a twat.
Don’t have sex with someone who treats you this way. He would rather risk you getting pregnant and everything that goes along with that than use a condom. How selfish.
STOP HAVING SEX WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND IMMEDIATELY.
Your boyfriend is not mature enough to be having sex with. Frankly, from your description he sounds like the sort that would flee any responsibilities if you did get pregnant.
Sex comes with responsibilities on all parties.
Each person is responsible for ensuring their sexual health and revealing any possible issues to their potential partners.
Each person is responsible to have the birth control discussion and to reach a mutual agreement on what birth control methods will be used and who will pay for them.
If you don’t agree, don’t have sex.
Each person is responsible to have the discussion about what happens if the birth controls fails before having sex.
If you don’t agree, don’t have sex.
Each person is responsible for ensure that their partner is enthusiastically consenting to every and all sexual activities and to not take advantage of a person unable to consent.
But OP, your boyfriend is clearly an unreliable partner and you should be protecting yourself both from pregnancy or sexual disease. Whether it be abstinence, IUD, the pill, the shot, spermicide, you need to do something that does not depend on your boyfriends cooperation.
Some men just aren’t worth having sex with. Your boyfriend is one.
So he’s stupid AND doesn’t care about you?
No condom, no sex. No is a complete sentence. Let me tell you just how hard it is to have a child with the completely wrong person. I’m sure many people can back me up on this.
You are dating an idiot. Everyone knows that the pull-out method absolutely does not work. I do not understand why you would have sex with this man without protection. Not only are you apt to get pregnant God knows what you could catch from him since this is a man who doesn’t want to wear a condom God knows what he’s got.
my son is the product of the pull out method!
your boyfriend wants to have sex but won’t use protection? he has a right hand that won’t get pregnant that’s no problem
Sweetheart, this boy is valuing his own wants over your very real concerns. Besides, condoms prevent more than just pregnancy. You can’t trust that someone as selfish as him is being faithful. You have your whole life in front of you. Dump this loser, and spend some time learning how to value yourself. You deserve so much better than him.
Why are you dating someone who doesn’t respect your wishes?
You WILL end up pregnant and daycare is $2000 a month. Are you willing to take that risk just so your potential baby daddy can get his rocks off?
Your man is TRASH. Have a little self respect.
He’s ignorant, stingy, and selfish. Pulling out is a completely ineffective way to avoid pregnancy. And if he’s too stingy to pay for condoms, good luck getting child support out of him.
My friend got pregnant from the pull out method. It’s not a form of birth control what so ever. Get on the pill if you want or use condoms. Both parties should be responsible for obtaining birth control. It’s not just on you.
Honestly, he sounds like a dope and I don’t think you should even have sex with him at all. He’s young and horny and not thinking about the consequences. That little excuse that it doesn’t feel as good is so dumb. What would he be like if you ended up pregnant? This little boy already sounds like a red flag. I remember what it was like to be 18 and feeling like I couldn’t stand my ground. You’ll get over that eventually and will have no issue walking away from someone who tries to force you to do anything you don’t want to do. I wish I could go back to my 18 year old self and help her with little boys like this. Not worth your time.
Honey there is only one answer to anyone who doesn’t respect your boundaries in any sexual relationship. You say thanks for the good times and walk away.
Condoms yes do remove some of the sensation, but he’s a self centered, stupid prick if he tells you you won’t or can’t get pregnant if he pulls out. Especially if you’re not on birth control it’s a bigger risk.
He wants to have sex? Then he has to respect your body. Saying you need to buy and keep the condoms is a way of pushing all responsibility onto you. It’s a way of pressuring you to cave in and let him not use a condom.
If he can’t handle sex with a condom, then his brain hasn’t developed enough for sex, and if you did get pregnant and had to have the child, then he wouldn’t be ready or willing to help you. He’s shown that already. So please, next time he pressures you, stand up for yourself. Say ok, thanks for telling me you won’t respect my boundaries and don’t care for my own safety now goodbye.
Get on birth control so you can protect yourself and dump this guy. He doesn’t care about your safety.
This is not the guy you want to lose your virginity to. If that is his attitude, then he is definitely not going to be a thoughtful lover. There is a good chance that you will get pregnant and he will leave you to deal with the consequences of that alone. Not only should he respect your stance on protection and contribute to the cost, he should want to protect you. You really do need to move on from him. If you don’t you’ll look back in years to come and wonder why you had sex with him at all.