We’ve been married for 6 years and during this 6 years, right after a few months into the marriage, he would say “Let’s split up”, “This is not working, let’s part our ways”, “Let’s get divorced” etc. during every argument or conflict. Then I would not pay much heed to it and things would go back to normal. But sometimes, whenever I genuinely raised some concerns about anything to him, he would say, “I want divorce” and then gave me silent treatment and after a few days, I would cry or apologize (for nothing) and he would go normal. One time, he was super serious and went no-contact with me for 1.5 months (we used to live in separate states for our jobs) and I cried and told him why don’t we try more, give it one last chance and he finally agreed and went back to normal. But every now and then, either jokingly/randomly/seriously, he would say he wants divorce. It caused me serious trust issues, self-esteem issues and just made me lose faith in the marriage altogether. So, in 2024, I told him I don’t feel loved. Just after saying that he wants divorce and was damn serious about it and I cried and things were normal.
Now, again, after raising some serious concerns about his couple of bad habits/behaviors towards me, he said he wants divorce and we are not talking for 12 days and this time, I really am fed up and don’t want to beg him to stay unless he makes the changes (first one is stop with the threats). I think this time it is also pretty serious, he keeps telling me he will move out and get it done etc. But he also is very decent in some ways now (doing the chores diligently etc.) I feel like he also misses me.
I don’t want to be in this sick power dynamics thing. Why is he doing this? Is he really serious? He threatened it at least 100-200 times by now.