I’ve never felt love like this. We’ve known each other 20 years through school and mutual friends, and I fell madly in love with him, but at 16, I wasn’t one to approach a boy, and then he moved away for work, but we kept in touch as friends. We have been together romantically for 2 years now. Despite the challenges we face, such as children from previous relationships, including my disabled child he embraces as his own, and me studying at university in my 30s, we’ve built a strong foundation through communication, therapy, and commitment. We take each disagreement and figure out the tools to better our understanding for a healthier way of communicating that we both partake in.
We’ve had tough times, but always come out stronger. We have a lot on our plates with kids (no intention for more), work, uni, and constant meetings/ appointments for my son, but we are a team. We’re best friends, like actual best friends, something I never thought possible in a partner.
I’d made it clear I didn’t want an elaborate engagement; my past relationship used expensive gestures as control, and I only wanted something genuine, I just want him. We went away to explore a new city for a couple of days with all of our favourite pastimes (while the kids were with their respective parents); wine, embracing the cities culture, museums, architecture, walking the streets with no intended destination, cosy pubs with board games. So, after a roast dinner, pub quiz, a glass of wine or two, and laughter-filled night, he knelt in the living room of our stay… no ring, just us. I was overjoyed.
Yesterday, we went to our local outlet on our way back and stumbled upon a simple sterling silver ring with a pink stone, quirky and perfect for me. We had no intention of even getting a ring, but I’d absolutely fallen in love with this piece, I’d never seen a pink stone. The stone is fake and holds no value, but I adored this and couldn’t take my eyes away. He pulled me in and bought it. How funny, I didn’t want a ring yet the next day I see one that I’d say is perfect for me… fate? lol!
The first person we approached was his mum. We have always got on and do so much together, we’ve been away, gone to the theatre, have dinner every week, FaceTime when we’re not with her, all of this is with and without my partner. We are more like friends.
However, when we told her yesterday, she questioned why he’d propose. She’d told him how stupid he is, but that it’s nothing against me which I find very hard to believe given her reaction. I am a very rational person, I didn’t get angry, just I told her I understand and she’s valid for feeling however she feels, but I needed to set and respect my own boundary by not being in a place that I felt uncomfortable, so I insisted my partner stay with her to comfort her, ensure she’s okay, and that I was going to go home so I didn’t get to a place of feeling overwhelmed, I needed a minute to gather my thoughts and feelings. Maybe that was wrong of me to leave and should have had a united front, but I needed a moment.
Her reaction broke my heart, leaving me unsure how to handle it and now, I am broken. I don’t want to tell anyone else in fear of this reaction and now don’t think we should be engaged. Any advice as to why she reacted this way, or, on pretty much anything?