I love my husband, we were together for 6 years before we got married and truly now cannot imagine our lives apart. But when you get married, especially in an Indian household, it's not just the man you've got to get accustomed to, it's the whole family. And I'm lucky enough to have loving in-laws, the only thing that bothers me is the tremendous amount of expectations they have from a daughter in law. I work full time, earn great, but somehow all that is pushed aside amidst all the traditions and customs that are expected of me. I'm not as traditional as they are, and yet respectfully I'm willing to learn a lot of their customs. But I've had a life before marriage and I should not be expected to suddenly change myself COMPLETELY. Sometimes even the clothes I should or should not wear is dictated. And from their POV, it doesn't come from a rude place but from a loving one.
I've never been rebellious in my life, and sadly I'm very people-pleasing, even if it's not making me feel good. At most, I usually opt for silent rebellion, meaning if they ask me to wear something I don't want to, i'd just sound agreeable but would still not wear it the next time, in the hopes that they would stop asking me. One year later, they still haven't stopped asking and it usually ends up ruining my whole day/mood. Honestly I don't know if the solution is to argue back? I don't even know if I'd be able to as I don't want to taint these relations.
My husband supports me fully, and I've no quarrel with him here. He is okay with me doing what I want. Still sometimes I find myself thinking, why didnt any married woman I know warn me of all this an year back? About how much my life would change.. Or maybe they did, and I just ignored not fully understanding all of this until I've experienced it..
Anyways, I don't want to feel upset or stressed over this every time. But I don't know how to stand up for myself, which sounds pathetic I know…