I’m a woman in my early twenties, and I’m a victim of FGM (female genital mutilation). I don’t usually talk about this publicly, but it has started affecting my relationship and my sexual life more than I expected.
My partner is incredibly patient, gentle, and supportive. He genuinely tries everything he can to make intimacy enjoyable for me, but I struggle to feel pleasure. Most of the time it’s uncomfortable or painful, and I end up feeling guilty because he puts in so much effort. He never complains, but I still feel like I’m failing both of us.
For women who have been through FGM, or for people dating someone who has, how did you navigate this? Were you able to reach a place where sex didn’t feel like something to endure? Are there practical ways to build intimacy or pleasure that don’t rely on the things that were taken from us?
I know there’s a reconstructive surgery option, but it costs around $3000+, which is a lot where I live. I haven’t told my partner about the surgery yet because he keeps reassuring me that we’ll make this work together, and I’m scared he might think I’m losing hope or that he’s not doing enough.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hating sex or feeling disconnected from my body. I want to feel normal again, and I’m hoping to hear from people who understand this situation.
For anyone unfamiliar with what FGM is, here’s a clear explanation: https://www.unicef.org/protection/female-genital-mutilation