This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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There is this guy I matched with a week ago and sent him the first message. But he never replied. I don’t even want to keep swiping coz I only think about him (I know lol).
Should I send him another message? Or it will be crazy from my side?
What would your honest dating profile say?
I think I’ve almost got the courage to give hottie from the weed store my number if the opportunity presents. I saw him recently but dawdled too much getting to the counter and he disappeared in the back room.
Part of me regrets stopping with the eyes we were giving each other, but it started to feel disloyal after my guy and I talked about being content in monogamy with each other. And it had been so so long since I’d experienced that, and I just wanted to enjoy it for a bit because I don’t think I’ll find it again.
Unless I could have found it with the hottie from the weed store and now it’s too late 🥲
I met someone three months ago, and one month later we decided to be together. Now I’ve been staying over 3-4 days a week and unintentionally planned a 10-day international trip together in the next month (I happened to tag along the end of his trip, and he asked to join in at the start of my already planned trip). Is this too fast? I don’t particularly feel uncomfortable with him and we have such a great time whether it’s just at home cooking dinner or going out doing date activities.. but just thinking about past relationships, I don’t think I’ve even taken any more than a week together that was more than a week long. I’m excited about this relationship yet cautious; I don’t want it to seem like it’s too fast and he’ll get bored.
In the midst of taking a few days of space from the guy I’m seeing (still? Maybe?) and I’ve broken out the tarot cards. Send help 🙃
I think I just messed up what I had with a guy. I think I told him too much too soon and came on too strong. And I think I scared him. I’m sad, but I’m on holiday with my mom and sister and I’m trying to cherish this time with them. Compartmentalizing is very difficult right now. I think I just needed to type this out. And I guess I’m also in my feels that I’ll be alone on the holidays.
I have had 3 relationships that have amounted to about 5 years total. I’m 32F. I just feel like I don’t have enough experience and I keep jacking things up.
When you don’t hear from a potential date you have vague plans with and it’s at the point where it’s so late that you’re praying they don’t suddenly text you 😂.
And meeting someone platonically who I went on a few dates with next week! Excited to see him because he’s fun, far too fun to date (gets overwhelmed with all the fun he’s having and forgets to text the girls he’s seeing).
Next week is also a date that’s planned with an actual meeting time and place. Genuinely looking forward to that one – I just get a good feeling from him, no scaries (so he’s not my usual type LOL).
I once used an app that had both a dating side and a “find friends” side. I met my ex on the dating side and a friend on the friend side… and later found out my ex had talked to that same friend years before. Nothing happened between them, but it made things feel weird and a bit too small-world.
Now I’m single again, and my friends and I all use the same apps with the same criteria (same religion, background, type). So the pool is tiny, and I’m anxious that we might end up talking to the same people without knowing again – or worse, that one of us could accidentally date someone who was actually an ex of the other. None of us have seen each other’s exes, so it could genuinely happen by accident.
How do you deal with this overlap? Do you talk openly about your matches? Does it stop feeling weird, or is this just part of modern dating when your friend group shares the same filters?
It’s always nice to hear from my parents that I’m single because my expectations are too high. Sigh. Happy Thanksgiving?
Anyone else get these types of remarks from family/friends?
One day my brain will stop having any kind of reaction when he doesn’t text me back during his work day. One day my brain will just enjoy and remember the (very very recent) moments where he showed up earnestly over text.
And by very very recent I mean literally last night, where he initiated conversation with a ‘thinking of you’ message (swoon) and kept it going throughout the night by asking questions about me as well as sharing bits of what he was doing (love that) and even double texted me at the end of the night after I thought the convo was over …!
My brain is silly.
Oh, 95, you never fail to disappoint me. It wouldn’t be a trip home without bumper to bumper traffic?
In other news, sexy romantasy guy didn’t text me for two days and then shows back up telling me he’s been busy and exhausted. Does that work on *anyone*?? I know some of you guys are like “oh you don’t have to be text every day in early dating” but nah, fam. If they can’t even check in, they don’t give a fuck.
I was invited to two Thanksgiving dinners by two separate female colleagues. Of the two, only one sent me location info and arrival time so I accepted. Hopefully colleague number 1 won’t feel too offended I didn’t follow up? Anyhoo, I’m happy I won’t be spending Thanksgiving totally alone this year, as it’s usually a concern of mine since my parents have passed away and my sister doesn’t celebrate anymore. In spite of my non-existent love life and some heartbreak I had to deal with this year, I really do have a lot to be thankful for, so I plan on making the most of the day tomorrow.
Now if only I could find wifey 😭 Where is my nerdy, athletic, sassy but warm and empathetic other half?!? lol
Cold weather warm snuggles. I want somebody to snuuggglle ❄️🛌
Brining my bird, vegetables chopped, got my fireplace set up for tomorrow. Now to clean and enjoy this amazing 71°F day, happy to still be alive and well🥰.
Went on probably my last date of 2025. I went on a lot of dates just to see if things had potential and that was just a lot of time and effort for things that didn’t lead anywhere.
I think if I date at all in 2026 I’m going to be much more picky. If she doesn’t check all the boxes I’ll keep looking.
what is your method for getting through the conversations on dating apps? usually, i wait for the person that i like. then, i respond to everyone all at once. it’s really hard now because there’s no one exciting
My boyfriend lives in an apartment, and his downstairs neighbor smokes like a chimney. When I come home, my clothes and hair always smell like smoke. It seems like it’s getting worse lately. My boyfriend’s parents smoked, and he’s kind of smell blind. I have a very sensitive nose and cannot stand cigarette smoke. It’s not boyfriend’s fault; this guy moved in after him. But it’s starting to make me a little crazy having to do extra hair washes (locs, iykyk), double wash everything that I had in the apartment, and steam the things I can’t wash. I’ve been using a garment bag and ziplock bags for smaller stuff, but it’s not really working. I actually have a tiny ozone generator that’s used to remove odors from rental properties, but running that in my closet weekly seems a bit much. I’m looking at this beautiful dry clean only coat I just got and wanted to wear for a Thanksgiving event, but I don’t even want to wear it into the apartment. What do?
So my whole adult life I was convinced I fall somewhere under anxious attachment style. I was working on myself to fix that. Recently due to some situations and circumstances I realized I have been absolutely an avoidant (a little anxious mix there) and I was getting anxious in the past because I had a good reason to and i cared. And suddenly so many things make sense, not only in terms of romance, but relationships in general, my mental health.
I have a crush at work, who might also like me. But since he is not directly hitting on me (staying very professional, as we work in a special environment, plus very closely) I get immediatly turned off and my first reaction is to become a cold stone and limit any interactions. At the same time no matter what I do, there is some friendship and warmth growing between us. My mind is so confused and wants a solution now, because its terrified of growing close to someone. I decided to break the pattern, reciprocate the warmth and build on that friendliness, not run away. No expectations to outcome, this might be a great life lesson for me. Trying not to control what I cannot control.
So after collecting some data from here yesterday by asking what physical attributes one likes in the person they’re attracted to, it seems like the ideal person would have a strong set of shoulders and neck, with nice forearms. A cute face with green eyes and a nice smile that is genuine. A moustache would be nice, but wasn’t something that was mentioned much.
Brown eyes are also an option (no love for blue eyes??? 😭). And a nice booty.
Oh, and a nice wiener. Can’t forget that one.
Interesting data. I have a few of those things, but not mentioning which ones.
Last night she told me that she needed to take a step back from things to deal life stuff that has nothing to do with me. It’s indefinite how much time she needs and she explicitly said that she doesn’t think it’s fair for me to wait around for her. She was very upset during this conversation and crying. She says her feelings for me are clear, but it’s just not the right time for us. We have mutual friends so I know it’s genuine and she’s doing this out of consideration for both of us. It still sucks to get close to someone and then have to step away from that connection.
I’ll be with family this week and I have work travel next week so I’ll be occupied and hopefully that makes this easier.
I (39 F) went on the date with Anthony (33 M, not his real name) yesterday after work. He seems to be a fly by the seat of his pants type as he works freelance in media so his schedule isn’t fixed. He lives really close to my work building, so we met outside my office building and walked to a local cafe for a coffee. Chat was great, my main concern is that our shift times clash a bit but it’s the sort of thing you could work around. He was really sweet and the conversation was flowing. He was on call for a freelance job that day but only checked his phone once. It was short for a first date (around an hour and a half) for me but he did end up on a last minute job that afternoon. Full two arm hug goodbye from him and we texted half an hour after the date was over. The environment (brightly lit busy cafe in the middle of the day) wasn’t the right place for a kiss. I found him attractive and great company and would love to see him again. I thought I would care more about the age gap but it didn’t matter at all in person.
I’m probably going to call things off with Film Buff (37 M). We are supposed to see each other this weekend for a second date. It’s now Thursday and there are no firm plans – no date, no time and no location. I’m getting frustrated with his lack of initiative despite very clear communication from me that I would like him to plan a second date. Add in the fact it would be three weeks between our first and second date and I feel all the momentum and interest has been lost from me. I’m tired and already have a third date with Journalist (39 M) on Friday night. It’s been a shitty, stressful week at work and I want to relax on the weekend rather than force myself out on a date with a guy when I feel all the momentum and interest has been lost.
The Empath (39 M) finally responded to my voice note I sent him a couple of days ago with a voice note of his own. He sounded absolutely exhausted and called himself a dickhead for taking so long to respond. I feel he’s genuine but I’m not rushing to respond either. For those playing along at home, he works on film sets and is in the middle of an intensive 5-6 week shoot and has been open about how draining it has been for him. I will keep chatting but not sure if we will meet up or not.
Bleh. My options for tomorrow are to either go to ex’s friend’s wife’s family’s house (and I’m not a huge fan of the wife and also now don’t really like the friend) or go with my family to their friend’s house. Whose brother who will be there supposedly has a thing for me and I am absolutely not interested.
I will not ignore my gut anymore. I will not ignore my cut anymore. I will not ignore my gut anymore. Being open doesn’t mean inviting in the wrong people. Being open doesn’t mean inviting in the wrong people. Being open doesn’t mean inviting in the wrong people.
I’m a 39M and it seems like, for the first time in who knows how long, someone that I am interested in SEEMS as if she is also interested in me. We see each other once a week and we always have good conversations that flow well and are pretty effortless. While she was writing something down for me she also wrote down her phone number. I attempted to play it cool but I was giddy on the inside. Lol.
Anyways I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much because she may just be trying to be nice. But I think I’m going to ask her out. Does anyone have any pointers or tips for if things go wrong to avoid any awkwardness if she says no? Is a sort of disclaimer before I ask her a weird thing? Something like “Hey so saying no is a perfectly valid answer but would you be interested in getting coffee or a drink sometime this weekend if you’re free?” ?
What would you guys do here? I’ve been seeing this guy for 3 months. He’s the best friend of my friend’s boyfriend. This week, he stopped communicating. I talked to my friend about it, and she told me that something was up, but she wasn’t allowed to say. I guessed immediately that he was seeing someone else. I find out later, she’s known for a month.
I’m feeling gross about how my friend acted more than anything. She thought this was shady, knew for a month, but “bro-code” for her boyfriend’s friend outranked her giving me a heads up. I feel like if someone decides to start seeing a new partner 2 months in, it means partner 1 is chopped (and we were spending 2 or 3 days a week together, so 16+ dates when he started seeing someone else?! Both monogamous). She knew I didn’t know, and let me keep seeing him for another month.
I’m so annoyed by my bad dates this past week that I want to cancel my upcoming ones, but they’re already booked and I don’t like to bail. After them I think I’ll take another break. 😞
Does anyone have commiseration or suggestions for getting over someone when they choose another person they’re dating over you?
It’s not that they don’t like me, but they don’t like me as much as someone else… and somehow that feels worse?
Internal affirmation for today: “just because it sucks doesn’t mean I’m being punished”
ugh. ya know that tipping point where maybe you’d rather not have these boring or annoying conversations in hopes of finding someone? i might be close! how hard is it to come up with a plan for a date?!
from my woman’s perspective: ya freakin set it up. wtf is the problem?! because i have already suggested ‘if it’s nice, lots of village downtown areas’ and ‘ probably could take advantage of holiday stuff,’ and ‘there’s probably a tree lighting or christmas cafe.’
>Have anything you want to do together? Or should we grab food?
>Guess we better find something to do then
>Worse case we find something indoor
>Considering you haven’t been anywhere in [redacted], any bucketlist places?
>No places you haven’t been but wanted to go?
Boy has been left on read
Does anyone else have these weird immediate defensives go up to people’s standards? Weirdly *even more so* when I fit them? Like, as soon as a guy talks about wanting a woman who is fit or goes to the gym, I lose all respect for him… despite the fact, I workout, and literally work in health.
Literally like: “I prefer blondes” “well fuck you!” even though you’re blonde?
I think it’s part of feeling degraded down to a check list/type… it leaves no room for who I am. If someone is that stringent, I just don’t think they actually care about who the person is, or else they would be open to dating people who don’t it. Ei overweight people.
after running out of people on hinge i had one actual date from using the app. it was okay, she gave me more friend vibes but we’re going out again this weekend so we’ll see if things heat up.
the lack of prospects in this city is a downer for sure, but since I’m planning on moving next year it’s probably for the best im not meeting any LTR potential (though short term would be nice)
day by day im more okay with not having anyone to cuddle right now and happier that i have time to spend with friends and paint.
I recently broke up with my ex and am getting mixed signals from a male friend in the same friend group. Since my breakup, we’ve been going to concerts where he happened to initiate/reciprocate physical touch (hugs, leaning) and drags out our time together, but the vibe can get awkward and his texting is inconsistent. I can’t tell if he’s genuinely interested but shy, or if I’m just projecting because I’m in a vulnerable place. Any suggestion?
Sigh…. my ex called me yesterday because one of his relatives just died and asked if we could hang out – we talked for a while and then had sex, not the first time that has happened post-breakup. (Edited this for clarity, my original phrasing was bad – he wanted comfort (sex) so I let him come over). In general I’m in a place where I’m fine hanging out & talking to him sometimes, though I know it’s a horrible idea to continue sleeping with an ex. But tbh it’s so comforting and I miss him, and I guess it’s nice to know that he misses me in some way too. Which is dumb, because like yeah he misses sleeping with me but he doesn’t actually miss me or want to be with me…
Idk, he probably just called me instead of someone else because he knew I would say yes. But also, how could I say no to hanging out when his grandma just died??? I still care about him a lot. The last time I saw him before this he also seemed pretty depressed, and I know it’s not my job to fix him or to try to make him happy. But he was SO supportive of me when we were together when I was going through some really bad depressive episodes.
Idk, I just miss him a lot. I get really sad around the holidays so it was comforting for me too, but I know it won’t change anything between us.
Also edited to add – I appreciate y’alls concern but he did not manipulate me into sleeping with him, I was 100% a willing participant. Breakups and the resulting emotions are complicated!
A couple months ago, I booked another singles trip between Christmas and New Years Eve. I actually booked that before I met 40F, so it’s been quite a while since I booked it. Crazy to think it’s in exactly a month! Looking forward to it. I’m actually going to the same place I went to last year, so I know the accommodation is going to be great.
Last singles trip I went on back in May someone was making it very obvious she was interested in me, but sadly despite her being nice enough, she wasn’t my type. Not the reason I’m going on those trips, though. But never say never, I guess! I’m excited to go out there and meet fresh faces.
I’d like to let a date from 2 years ago know that I’m (still) interested.
Funny enough, we planned a 2nd after the 1st where I thought sparks flew between us under a rainy night while standing on a bridge overlooking the lake and city skyline. He unmatched before I could confirm so I deleted and remade my account to ask why. He apologized and we left it as is.
Fast forward 4-6 months, I come across his LinkedIn and debate messaging. So I do. He’s jovial and polite but doesn’t ask to exchange numbers. I didn’t want to “chase” because hello stalker much? but I also felt I wasn’t in full form yet. (A little silly I know but my orthodontic treatment finishes in two weeks)
Now that I’m nearly ready, I wonder if it’s something I should do (differently for once) or let sleeping dogs lie…
I had a couple dates with a guy that were really strong and connected and intimate without sex. We seemed very excited about each other. Every time we were at the end of a hang we’d solidify plans for another. We were supposed to hang out last night then he fully ghosted me. I was pretty upset. Then he posted for a second day in a row on instagram (not his style) and won’t stop looking at my stories. What in the absolute fuck is this? I’ve been dating swiftly in the past couple months, really trying to give it a go after not for years. I’d met this guy in person and it was just so promising. I can’t understand what happened and I feel so so so so dumb for feeling this heartbroken.
This seems to be a thing guys are doing and it truly just makes me want to accept that I will die alone. How are you supposed to navigate dating when having a very strong connection and then disappearing is a total norm?
Ok so ive been on hinge for like 3 weeks now. And last night had a date planned but the guy unmatched me a few hours before. This also happened once before. So I think they are fake profiles. So 1 I hate hinge now, 2 im suspicious everyone is a fake profile, 3 im thinking of deleting all apps, disabling my insta, dying my hair pink, and getting back all my facial piercings.
A bit extreme but ive been happily single and not trying to date for about 3 years and there was nothing wrong with that. I liked that. I got fat, now have got fit again, worked on 4 startups, traveled europe every year in Summer and just loved life. Currently working on a creative business when im not at my boring day job. All this dating BS just seems like so much unnecessary drama. I mainly did it to get over a crush I had who I knew it would never work out with and he agreed but feelings are feelings. Im over that now so can go back to having a good time.
There is one more fake profile who said he wants a date on Friday I asked for a video call and he said yes but hasn’t sent his number so im saying 100% fake as well. Why is hinge full of fake profiles???