I have been with my partner for 3 years. For context, we started off as super kinky and both with high sex drives, and now, a bit less so, especially on his part. Normally we would have sex once a week, occasionally multiple times a week, but ever since he got a new job a few months ago that requires him to physically labor on top of going to school, he says he’s too tired to have sex with me. Before this job he had a higher sex drive. He would also touch me when I’d walk by him wearing pants that he likes, for example, but now, he never does anything like that to even show me that he’s still attracted to me. We don’t even have to fully have sex for him to make me feel wanted, even touches like that would be something… anything that he initiates instead of me. A big part of our dynamic is me initiating sexual acts more often (we both like femdom), but before his job, he’d still touch me without me having to ask, and now he doesn’t anymore, claiming he’s too tired for anything. And when I initiate nowadays, it goes nowhere because he’s falling asleep the next moment. I feel unwanted, unappreciated, and like he isn’t as attracted to me anymore.
I’ve tried to ask him to work less because I think we’d both feel mentally/physically happier, bringing up that I think he’s overdoing it, but he said he likes the amount of money coming in and that he doesn’t want to change it. For context, we both work and are in college, and we live together with a family member so rent or utility bills are not really a point of concern. We both want to save up for our future, but it feels like it’s getting in the way of enjoying something that’s very important to me and is also a basic human want—sex/physical touch.