Hey everyone, I need some outside perspective because I’m confused and kind of anxious about this shift.
I met a guy recently and for about a week, we were talking a lot. We texted every day and talked on the phone about four times. The connection felt really natural and easy, and he seemed genuinely interested.
We finally met in person this weekend and the date went really well. We talked for hours, the vibe felt strong and comfortable, and I honestly haven’t felt a connection like that with someone in a long time.
At one point around midday during the date, he even asked something like: “So you still want to come see me next time?” which made me feel like he was clearly planning on seeing me again.
After the date, he messaged me once when he got home.
But since then, almost every conversation has only happened because I initiated it.
He replies, but the messages are short and not nearly as frequent as before we met. The contrast is making me overthink everything.
I suggested planning a second date, and he said yes right away — calm, normal, no hesitation. He didn’t avoid the topic. But the drop in texting effort is still bothering me.
He also recently got out of a long relationship, so I can’t tell if he’s being cautious, overwhelmed, or pulling back emotionally.
To add to that, he’s leaving mid-December to visit family for almost a month. So if communication is already this slow now, I’m worried about what that’s going to look like while he’s away.
Is it normal for texting to slow down after a first date, even if the date went great?
How do you tell if someone is just a slower communicator vs genuinely losing interest?