Hi all, My Mom and I are very close. I currently live with my parents and plan on moving back out after the first 90 days at my new job.
I was a housebound agoraphobic as a teenager and my mom was not in the workforce again till I was 20, so we spent a lot more time together than the average teenager and their mom.
The issue is that as I’ve gotten older, I find myself still needing to talk to my mom for every issue that I can’t self regulate with. It should be noted I’m low support needs autistic, though wasn’t diagnosed till this year.
I feel bad about it sometimes because she’s got enough stress without me bothering her to tell her my newest idea I’ve figured out, or whatever emotion I’m struggling with that day. I try to listen to her as much and support her too, and she has small vents about my dads various behaviors that bother her to me often.
The biggest issue for me comes in when she’s majorly stressed about something else unrelated to me, and become icy, stomps around the house, huffs at things, and gives me the silent treatment or is snappy. This doesn’t feel good for anyone, and the fact that she’s the only person I know I can talk to for everything and anything means that her acting like this makes me feel isolated and alone. She has a right to her feelings, but I don’t know how to cope when she acts these ways.
I hope things get better when I move out, but even with past move outs I was heavily emotionally dependent on her, calling her 1-2 times a day, once one a good day and twice on a bad day. I don’t wanna bother her this much years from now when she’s older and has to deal with more for herself. I try to talk to friends for certain issues, but some stuff feels too heavy to lay on my friends.
TLDR: I’m an autistic early 20s adult and emotionally dependent on my mother and when she gets angry or icy I feel isolated and sad. How can I mitigate those feelings or find ways to help myself?