This is the situation I am in: My boyfriend (25M) and I (22F) have been together for 2.5 years. I have my own place and pay my own rent, and I wanted to continue living there to maintain my independence. However, he insisted that I move in with him. Because of his job conditions, he has to travel all the time and he does not want to drive back and forth every weekends to see me so he suggested me to be a housewife so I can follow him everywhere.
Now here’s the problem: the other day he texted me and complained that I never show my gratitude towards him for paying rent at his place for both of us. Mind you, even while staying with him, I still do more for him: I work, I cook, take care of him, and give him massages, all while still paying rent at my own place and pretty much pay for other expenses with him. What hurts me is in the past, I’ve financially supported us—paying for rent (we once live together), food, clothes, shoes, and even his investments business when he’s unemployed . He has never acknowledged these contributions. But I didn’t expect a thank you either because I just thought that’s what people do when they love the other. But now, he made me feel like a leech because he complains about paying rent for both of us, despite everything I do. I don’t feel the need to express my gratitude for him, because I never live here like a princess—he was the one who wanted me to move in.
I apologized to him last night about this issue. I did feel bad for not showing gratitude, but part of me is unhappy that I buried my feelings. I’m not sure if this is a sign I should reconsider this relationship.
I want a relationship where I feel respected, valued, and independent. I’m unsure if staying with him is the right choice, given his housewife expectation and lack of acknowledgment for my efforts.
TL;DR: F22 with M25 for 2.5 years. I pay rent at my own place but he insisted I move in with him. He wants me to be a housewife, I do more for him than he realizes, and he never acknowledges my contributions while complaining about paying for both of us. Unsure if I should stay or move on.