I have bought this up on a few occasions now. Over a period of time (probably a year maybe more) I seem to be getting the absolute scraps/left overs from any form of interaction with him. I watch him give time, care and compassion to those around us. He greets the children with a hug, warmth. Listens and gives them time. He chats for hours with neighbours, friends.
I can’t remember the last time I had a conversation with him that wasn’t about something that’s irritating him (general life – not specific to me), chores, how tedious raising kids is, renovations. Like an actual deep conversation.
We are rarely intimate (unless he is high)
I initiate all physical touch (hand holding, hugs, a goodbye kiss)
Lately (months again) if I ask for a hug (eg in kitchen while we are both there together
I’ve been met with a grunt, eye roll, huge sigh or flat out no. I don’t make a big deal about it anymore because previously when I have bought it up for discussion it’s been turned onto me about how tired he is, busy life is.
The last 2 occasions that I’ve been met with this. Both very recent. I’ve pulled back. Not reacted to the what I feel is rejection. Gotten on with my day and we have barely spoken a word. Like strangers passing by.
He is not open to therapy. He says yes, but then “I’m not talking to a stranger about this”. I have attended therapy solo previously.
Am at a loss with next steps.
**Have 2 children. Busy lives with raising children, house etc (like everyone)
I work part time. He also works part time.
He has hobbies that her partakes in.
I suppose I don’t get to pursue my hobbies as I am the default parent 90% of the time. I also am very mindful not to bring that up with him as it has caused issues in the past (him not wanting children) I know I’m in the thick of raising my babies and my time will come
Around again for hobbies.
I just want kindness? And to feel like he actually likes me?