My husband is a really good guy. I’ll preface with that. I’ve been reading through other posts on this sub and it’s made me appreciate him more. But,
-
he vents to his family about our problems. I wish he would just get a therapist and have it be more productive vent sessions but he just won’t do it. I kind of hate that his brothers know so much personal shit about me and my marriage. I don’t want to say he can’t vent, I just wish he would respect my privacy and do it with a therapist. I had an abortion last year and begged him not to tell anyone but he told his brothers. That’s an extreme example but he tells them a lot
-
when he hangs out with the his brothers, he always stays late and comes home drunk. I just wish he would come home a little earlier. We are in our mid thirties, what can’t he come home at 11 or something? He comes crashing in, super wasted..like every two or three weeks. I don’t want him to see them less, I just wish he would allow his relationship to mature a bit. Like..could they go to a movie? For coffee? Or if they have to drink every time they see each other, why can’t he just come home at a reasonable time? He told his brothers about my “curfew” for him (I thought it was more of a boundary) and they told him I’m controlling and toxic
-
lastly, he doesn’t do anything around the house. I feel like I’m constantly cleaning up after him. Like it’s constant. I thought having a spouse would mean a division in labour, I thought it would make life easier in that regard. But it’s made it harder, I feel like I’m cleaning more than I ever have when I lived on my own. I’ve talked to him about it, he doesn’t care
Before anyone asks, yes I’m an equal financial contributor. I have a pretty good career and I work just as much as he does, and make a touch more. I also never vent about him to anyone but my therapist…and now this Reddit post.
Ladies, help me out here with some advice. I know these are not uncommon problems.
*update: currently at a hotel and have no intention of moving back in with him until he changes