So long story short I've been married for 12 years, we have zero kids together and she has a 17 year old son who I've helped raise, I lost hours at my job and literally cannot afford to pay rent anymore to which I'm beyond stressed out because of my financial hardship and I've been wanting out of this marriage for years now but I'm not quite sure what to do.
Whenever I say I'm gonna pack up because I feel like I'm the cause of the problems/it's probably better I just move out she guilts me into staying by saying "we're gonna be homeless cuz of you" "you don't give a shit about us" "you'd rather abandon us/runaway rather than fix your problems" and I just can't take it anymore.
She wants me to stay and be nice, change my attitude (that exists because I'm miserable here), fix what I've destroyed and help make sure her son graduates high school. Quite frankly I've tried hanging myself already and I'm at that point where I might end up doing it again because nothing is changing and I feel like it's impossible for me to change when she's stayed the same and the environment absolutely affects my mental health…
Should I just pack up my stuff and leave as well and leave her with the apartment that I literally can't afford to pay for anymore?
Should I worry about my own mental health and disregard them by moving out?