hi all, i’ve been suffering with depression and anxiety because of a lot of trauma my husband has caused. we’ve (both 30) been together for 12 years and have been blessed with a son. but i am not sure how to keep both my sanity and my marriage anymore.
sometimes i feel like he treats other women better than me (he flatters them tells them they’re beautiful and reacts ❤️ to their posts online, while he calls me “fat” and says he’s just teasing). told him this hurt, yet he doesnt stop. two years ago, he was chatting/flirting online with another woman, and i was so devastated by it that i needed to take antidepressants because i am unable to eat and lost 7kg in 4 months. thats it. i felt like i will never be enough. meds did eventually help but the cost is too high for my salary so i needed to stop taking it after a while. he has anger issues too, and gives me the silent treatment when he’s pissed. i tell him i feel so alone when he does that, but he cant really stop doing it maybe its his coping mechanism.
two years later and here i am, still unsure of how to cope. we’re still living together, sharing both the good and bad times. but some days i dont know how to stop crying over spilt milk. it’s like the feeling of betrayal never left. i am very active in the gym and i go for runs too. i also do pray and ask God for sustainance. i just dont know how to move past this besides going to my therapist monthly (husband doesnt believe in couples therapy, he says its a scam😔). truly appreciate y’all for taking time reading this. any advice would be greatly appreciated and welcomed. praying for everyone going through rough times❤️🙏🏻