This is my first time posting, and I’m not sure what to do. For context, I always thought my boyfriend’s mom, let’s call her Hannah (fake name), and I have had a good relationship. I’ve been with my boyfriend, let’s call him Daniel, for 2 years and we’ve known each other for 9 years. She’s been a little nosy as all moms are with their children and that’s never been a problem to me. She’s always been kind to me. For example, last Christmas was the first Christmas I spent with Dan’s family. I wasn’t expecting to receive any presents, but Hannah got me the most out of everyone by far. She always hugs me when greeting me and when saying goodbye, so this hit me really hard. About a week ago, Dan was at his sister’s place with his mom, Hannah where he and his siblings were discussing her will. She’s retired now and they wanted to have it all agreed upon before anything happened. Somehow, the topic turned to me, and she said, “you’re never gonna marry her right?” I’m by no means ready to be married, but this really hurt my feelings. She also then proceeded to tell Dan that she thinks I don’t love him. Dan told me this as it was happening and he made it clear to his mom that it wasn’t okay. Hannah said she didn’t mean it that way but I have no idea what she meant. This leads me to what happened around Halloween this year where Hannah was over at mine and Dan’s apartment because we were going to a Halloween event with the rest of his family. Hannah hadn’t been over there yet because Dan and I had only moved in, inJuly, so she asked for a tour while I was in the shower. We have a 2 bedroom apartment and my old bed is in there. Hannah lives 2hrs away from us and it’s not safe for her to drive at night for that large a distance, so she usually has to find somewhere else to stay. This lead her to suggest that she stay with us when she comes to the area. The problem is that I don’t even want my own mother staying with us because I would have to clean everything else out of the space. We use it as a general storage and junk room for the most part. It also really stresses me out to have any guests over. My boyfriend knows this, but he has a really hard time drawing boundaries with his family. He didn’t ever set boundaries until we were together because in his words, I’m the only one he’s felt safe enough to do that with. He was stunned and didn’t know how to say no. He doesn’t like having guests either, so we’re in agreement. Now his mom is coming for thanksgiving and his family just decided without either of our input that we’d be letting her stay with us. I want to have a good relationship with her because she’s someone Dan loves and I don’t want to put him in the middle of anything. I’ve considered just buying myself a hotel room for a night just to avoid the sheer awkwardness, but I’m gonna see her at thanksgiving anyways. I do want to be fair as well, she got diagnosed with some sort of growth in her brain and I think that’s affecting her behavior. Does anyone know a way to address the fact that she doesn’t think I love my boyfriend?