Earlier this week, I posted about finding a search on my husband’s phone for “girls” while he was in Las Vegas. He had an explanation at the time, and I wanted to believe him, but so many of you shared your own experiences and encouraged me to trust my instincts. I’m really grateful for that, because it pushed me to look deeper.
After reading through the comments, it became pretty obvious that his explanation didn’t add up — and that he had been looking for sex workers in Vegas. A lot of you suggested checking finances, phone activity, and app history. I did, and what I found was worse than I expected: over the past couple of years he’s downloaded and created accounts on multiple dating apps, watched a lot of porn, made profiles on porn sites, and continued to lie about all of it. When I confronted him, he lied until he basically had no other way out, and only then claimed he “never messaged anyone,” that he “was just curious,” etc.
I’ve since hired a private investigator because I want to know the full truth before making any decisions about my future. I’m sharing this update partly to encourage anyone who may be in a similar place: if something feels off, please look closer. But I’m also hoping for any advice on what else I can do while I wait for the PI’s findings.
One of the hardest parts is that he downloaded these apps and made these profiles during a time when I genuinely thought our marriage was in a really good place. It’s been a painful reminder that the truth isn’t always obvious. I’m also unsure how to find out more in the meantime. He has apps like Telegram, and I can’t see any of his profiles on the dating sites — I only know they were downloaded, not whether he used them or who he talked to.
If anyone has suggestions for what else I can look into, what to search for, or any other ways to get some clarity, I would really appreciate it. The waiting is brutal, especially with the holidays and so many family activities coming up. I just want to get through this and figure out how to navigate whatever comes next.