Lets call my best friend Bella. We’ve been friends since childhood. She’s fun, outgoing, and good looking, but she had a few toxic relationships and struggles with her daily life. She was diagnosed with depression at some point. Anyway, these days she mostly comes to me when she’s struggling and rarely shares the positive parts of her life. I ended up becoming her emotional support person. It's been over 10 years, 3 different therapists, prescriptions and nothing has ever changed.
All this to say that Bella believes a man would solve all of her problems. She has this princess phantasy that a man would make all the decisions and be a provider so she could stop struggling with daily life. Last year she met Harry, a guy who’s not her usual type. He's kinda nerdy, kinda socially awkward, but he seems to be a good person. He is definitely insecure about Bellas past and how her exes are typical "alpha" males. Anyway, he comes from a wealthy, very proper family, and so Bella pushed them to get serious fast, moved in together a few months into the relationship, and now she vents to me constantly about him.
Fast forward to my wedding a few months ago, Bella was my maid of honor, and Harry came too. My husband has a lot of single guy friends and I think that made Harry very insecure. He clinged on to her all day, he was particularly annoyed by the best man that walked down the aisle with her. Very early into the reception, she told me she was going to leave (we all had rooms at the venue) because she felt suffocated by him so she was basically absent for the whole party.After she left, Harry stayed and started interacting with the guys. He was kinda rude and confrontational with the best man at first, so inevitably, the guys started picking on him, and he became the drunk clown. There was even a video of it. It was nothing damaging but enough to be embarrassing. A few weeks later, Bella messaged me to ask me what exactly he did, i guess she heard some rumours or something idk. Harry didnt understand he was being picked on, he genuinely believed people liked him. So since she asked, I sent her the video. After I sent the video she basically ghosted me for weeks. Then she decided to reply back, lashing out at me, saying I criticized her and her man, and that I embarrassed both of them. That my friends were all losers and that if they don't like someone, then that must mean that that person is good. Unfortunately, on the day she messaged me, another dear friend of mine had suddenly passed away. I couldnt belive her insensitivity. To make that day about her and not provide me with any kind of support. Anyway, I was emotionally drained. So I ended up taking a month to reply, thinking about it. She tried reaching out in the meantime but I wasnt ready to talk to her. Eventually I sent her a calm message saying I cared about her but didn’t have energy for the constant heaviness anymore and I wasn't going to engage in a back and forth with her. But I was warm told her i loved her and that i wanted her to be happy, and that id love to have a light hearted friendship. She never replied. It’s been weeks. Today shes posting all about another friend’s wedding, like shes having a great time and stuff, but she never posted anything from mine, even though she was my maid of honor and even before this fiasco with Harry. There were incredible photos of her. I posted myself, the other bridesmaids posted, and she never reposted any of it, never bothered even liking or commenting on any of the posts about my wedding. And this was all way before our fight over Harry's behavior. My husband at this point hates her, he thinks shes jealous of me and was never happy for us. Its almost like she hated me for getting married, Maybe she wasn't the friend i thought she was. But I have a hard time believing she was envious all these years, and then I invited her to be my maid of honor… idk it's just so messy I don't know if friendships are supposed to be like that. It's really getting to me and idk what to do. Do I try to get closure or just move on, but how to move on without closure anyway?