For context, we've been together 13 years and are a blended family.
I'm very fantasy/kink driven. And have a very active sexual mind. She's more vanilla (respectfully of course). She doesn't have a whole lot of experience with self masturbation she says. I know she doesn't care too much for toys, but very dislikes vibrators, calling them annoying. Which I respect and understand. I have a very technical mind and think of toys as tools and love the different things they can do an accomplish and love to include them into playtime. She has her insecurities in the bedroom and I treat her much as a pillow princess with hopes to take the pressure of performing off of her, but I also am a people pleaser. Like, I could spend an hour giving her oral and be super happy about it.
Masterbation isn't a taboo topic for us, but she never talks about it, or does it. She mentioned doing it before when pregnancy hormones were raging and it sounded really hot. I commentes that I'd love to see it. But we giggled about it and an eye roll ended that conversation. Maybe she felt embarrassed. We have watched porn together before, but it felt very weird. Like we were trying something that was just unnatural feeling and it was just off. I am quite versed in porn. Her, not so much. I don't think it's an intimidation thing, because she's the 2nd person I've had sex with in my life, whereas she's had various partners over the years. That used to intimidate me.
Nonetheless, I've been fantasizing about her masturbating. Whether without me around and her telling me about it later, in the room watching, being nearby in the house, or maybe giving me oral. Doesn't really matter to me.
I'm not asking "How do I get her to do it?" But I'm wondering about other people's takes on it. She's bisexual if that matters. But has also said she finds vaginas "gross".
Has anybody else been in my shoes? Did anything change? Thanks