For the past couple months I’ve had a crush on my friend or just sexually curious . It’s super awkward we are both in that typical boy friend group and have been for the past couple years . But recently I’ve just been feeling different I don’t like him in the sense that I want to be with him but I feel sexually attracted I don’t know if it’s just curiosity or more . I want to try and like test the waters as such but I don’t want him to react in a bad way and also imagine if he tells people or just it ruins the friendship. He has a girlfriend and has for a while but that’s never stopped him with anyone . And I wouldn’t call myself gay or bi I couldn’t ever imagine myself with a man in a relationship sense but I just really curious and its so annoying . We are going on a “lads holiday” next year some point and I’m thinking that’s a good time to try after we both had a light drink and my other friends are asleep and it’s just us but what if he doesn’t want to or just tells other people or is mad at me idk so many possibilities. Also if it ruins the friendship that would be horrible and If it got around idk what I would do . And also the next day when we are both sober if he regrets it then that would be bad aswell . I don’t want to have intercourse I just want to try stuff like I really want to give him head and stuff like that ( can’t believe I’m actually writing this right now) he’s tall and cute and has a massive dick . And idk it’s such a weird situation I’m writing this to see if anyone has been in the same situation with there male friends as a guy aswell. Or has any advice or anything to help me.