22m who recently graduated college and since has struggled to build a social life. Growing up my biggest dream is life has been to simply be a husband and father. I dream of my life being fulfilled by the love of a woman who simply understands me. I’ve had horrible dating experiences in my life. I’ve been cheated on, dumped, lied to, manipulated, etc. I lack some self confidence issues due to some of my experiences. I also have dumped exes because they simply didn’t love me or communicate maturely. Then suddenly all the issues I had talked with them about become different. Why can’t I just be loved correctly the first time. My most recent ex (we have been separated for like 4 months now) begged for me back again. It’s a hard no just listen to me and communicate with me when I bring up issues. I wonder what’s wrong with me or what I did to deserve such horrible experiences. I crave to love someone deeply and to give them the world. I want someone who loves my humor and interests. Who does things for me despite not necessarily enjoying it. Someone who appreciates me and reassures me. I sometimes wonder if I will ever find my one. I know so many friends of mine getting engaged and planning weddings and I wish it was me. I try to ignore it or not let it bother me but it does. I wish so badly I had my person but I don’t and I’m afraid I may never find them. I want to spoil someone and make them the happiest person in the world. Sometimes I wonder why I don’t give up on dating. I guess I just don’t have the heart that gives up. Sometimes I wonder if I’m not attractive enough or a good enough partner. I just wish I could find my wife and have my happily ever after. I also recently have struggled with loneliness both romantically and for friendships. I really only have 1 close friend and I’m trying to find more. Any advice or reassurance helps. I’m tired of waiting and getting my heart broken.