My girlfriend 24F kept telling me I was imagining things, 27M, final update after learning the truth
I posted here before but deleted it after getting advice. I’m back with the full story and the update since the original is gone.
For about three months, my girlfriend’s behavior just collapsed. No kisses, no hugs, no touch at all. We live together and she suddenly wanted to sleep in a different bed. The whole house felt like something was off.
Whenever I tried to talk about it, she pushed everything onto me and blamed my psych meds. She kept saying I was hallucinating things, making me feel like I was losing my mind. It felt like she was twisting my emotions and my mental health against me so I would stop asking questions. The part that messed me up the most was how convincing she tried to be.
The morning I finally found out, I asked her if we could shower together like we used to. She told me no because she had to shave her legs and her armpits, so I figured she just wanted space. Looking back, that moment hits harder than anything else, because now I know she was getting ready for him, not me.
At that point, my gut was screaming at me. So I did something she never expected. I bought a tracker and put it on the car she was driving every day, which is my car, fully in my name, that I let her use for work.
The tracker showed she was leaving the house two and a half hours early. It showed she was spending about an hour at her boss’s house before every shift. This wasn’t a random stop. His place is a huge seven hundred fifty thousand dollar home. It was a pattern.
Later that same day, I watched her leave his house. I called her and asked where she was. She said she was at work. I told her I knew she was lying because I saw where she had been. She tried to claim she only stopped at Speedway. The tracker told the truth. When she realized she was caught, she finally confessed. She said she had been sleeping with her boss for the last three months and that she didn’t want me anymore because I don’t make the kind of money he does.
She was using my car to go cheat on me and using my mental health to gaslight me whenever I questioned anything.
That was the final straw.
I called my guys and they dropped everything to help. We packed the entire house in under three hours. Then we moved it all to my other place in another three. Six hours total and I was out for good. They refused to take any money, they just had my back.
I know this sub is usually for advice, but I wanted to update the people who helped me before. I’m done with her. I’m done letting anyone make me question my sanity to cover their lies. And no, I wasn’t crazy. I was right the entire time. She just tried to make sure I didn’t believe it.
It hurts, but the truth is better than the lie I was living.
UPDATE: For everyone asking about the car, yes, I got it back. I tracked my own vehicle and showed up about five minutes before she got home. When she pulled in, I asked for the keys, she handed them over, and I drove off. I left her with no couch, no bed, no TV, nothing except the Wi-Fi modem. Thanks for all the support, seriously. I appreciate it.
32 comments
Hey man good on you. Just keep going and don’t look back. Better off without any drama anyway.
I had a friend who was sleeping with her boss, didn’t last long at all after the excitement from hiding faded and she was back to 0 and was forced to quit when he dumped her. You made the right choice, did you take your car back too?
That broke my heart for you to read. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but karma will come back around and what she did to you will be done to her. Sadly, you were smart to use the tracker and end the pain in a shorter amount of time that it would’ve caused you had it gone on any longer. So glad to hear that you have good friends that were there to support you when you needed them.
I’m glad that you have friends like these. You did the right thing. I don’t understand why people just don’t leave instead of cheating.
Nicely handled. She’s a piece of work. Lucky you got out with no kids, no bs, no false accusations etc.
Take the heartbreak, process it, hit the gym and lift some iron.
Did you go take your car from her?
You are right, as shitty as it is, the truth is better. There is nothing redeemable here. You have some great friends and are better off!
Good for you, dude! You’re gonna be fine, plus you have all those great friends.
Why not talk with her boss or report her to her HRM department for cheating with her boss
You had a spare house that was just sitting vacant that you could move into at the drop of a hat?
Good for you OP, now it’s time to heal. And your group of friends, cherish each other. A virtual hug from an internet stranger!
Should have took the WiFi
Well done!!! Awesome your friends helped you out. She was gaslighting you severely, glad you saw through it.
Love that you just left the Wi-fi router, not sure if you can cross-post but this belongs on r/pettyrevenge or perhaps even r/ProRevenge
>It showed she was spending about an hour at her boss’s house before every shift.
That is diabolical. He gets the wife treatment when she is a sidepiece ornament when you got gaslighting and manipulation (or as she would call it -mental abuse).
She’ll come crawing back in a min.
Make sure to block her on everything.
You’ll have an update soon because the boss will dump her.
Updateme!
Would have liked to see the look on her face when she entered the house.
The house that you just moved out, what’s the situation? Is it her house or a rental?
This is going to sound harsh, but a prostitute is someone who will have sex with a different person for a little more money.
Really hope you’re reporting them to HR
She is going to be back begging you to take her back soon. Please tell her to fuck off! Update us if any other drama happens🙂
Good to see you have such an upstanding group of friends. They might refuse money for their help, but I recommend organising a barbecue/party at your place. Ask them for their opinion, “what kind of food and booze does everyone want?” and plan accordingly. If they ask “what’s the occasion?” just say “I’m celebrating my freedom.”
You did the right thing man I know it will be hard at first but you better off without her hope you doing okay
There’s a special place in hell for people who use mental health issues as a weapon like that. I am so very sorry, but glad you got out and away. Big congrats on your amazing friends!
(One of my (adult) sons has had mental health issues, and I still feel *fury* when I remember his ex doing the same to him. She even went round their mutual friends. God, I was furious. There are times when an old mum knows she stays out of things, and times when she has to step the hell in. That boy of mine was so vulnerable back then. So me and little girl had quite the chat. )
Holy awesome exit!!!!!!
My now ex tried to gaslight me early on in our relationship by moving my.purse from where I had put it then blaming me for not knowing where it was…telling me I was going crazy and losing it. Blasted him on it once I caught on and he quit doing it.
I hope you appreciate what good fellas you got there. Having friends who will drop everything to help is the best thing you can have.
Brilliantly handled.
I hope you can make an update in six months to see how you’re doing and what happened with her and her boss.
Self-respect, dignity and courage. Way to go, brother. Life won’t be easy for a while, but better to live in reality than waste more years in a failed fantasy. ✊🏼
I don’t give relationship advice, but I do want to say one thing to all girls: if you have feelings for someone, tell the truth and don’t cheat. It is better to say it openly than to hide and continue to torture your partner. It hurts more than you think.
And for you, I would simply advise you to take your time, face it, and try to keep yourself busy. If you want to cry, just do it; the more you cry, the more you realise that it is better to be alone.
So your gf was cheating on you because you didn’t make enough money, but you own multiple properties, some of which you rent out?
And your gfs boss is rich because he owns a 750k house?
Sorry I’m just trying to understand the details here
Did you report them to the company’s HR department or told her boss’s partner? Has she tried to contact you since? Updateme
You did well. She’s driving YOUR car to another man’s house cause he makes more money? She’s a loser. Hit the gym focus on self improvement and watch you get a woman that wants to drive you around in her car😌