Genuinely what do men want? I’ve (30F) dated all sorts of guys and they all turn out to be the same in terms of playing games or only wanting a woman they can control. And they allllways come back around at some point. What is up with that??? It’s genuinely tiring and exhausting.


48 comments

  5. Men want to feel needed in a woman’s life. They want a woman they can adore and love, who makes them feel confident in their masculinity. The want a companion in life that at the same time turns them on and inspires them to protect and be their best.

  7. Upon explaining my dating woes to someone he told me “it sounds like you just want someone to smoke weed and watch horror movies with”.

    So that I guess, plus half the rent. 

  10. 35/M

    Due to SA, I’ve never been in a relationship. About a month ago, I started getting closer to this woman I’ve known for 9 years. I recently opened up about my SA to her because over the last two years, we developed a closeness I couldn’t have imagined. Well, a few days after, we spent a night cuddling(no sex as she was drinking), and having her pull me close enough to hear her beating heart, she ghosted me.

    This situation made me realize just how important emotional availability, accountability, communication, and a willingness to put the same effort into the relationship as the other person is to me. Currently, I’m not looking to date because even before that night, I realized I needed therapy ( the first session was yesterday) to work through my SA.

  11. I’m in my 50’s and I can tell you that for me, I want a partner to share my life with. Someone who will be by my side like I am for them. Someone supportive and caring, who wants to cuddle on the couch on a rainy day, to hold hands with and steal a kiss from in public and just be as one. Someone to experience walking around Paris with, as going solo doesn’t hit the same. Maybe I’m dreaming because I cannot for the life of me find this but this is what I want.
    You need to find a better class of man because we are out here. Maybe it’s just my age and my ideals but the guys you’re dating, I don’t think they want a relationship.

  14. At a basic level, companionship. Questions that always will come up in a guy’s mind are, Does she have my back? Does she understand me and still wants to be with me?

  16. I want to be with someone who makes me feel like more of myself when I’m with them than when I’m not with them.

  19. Someone that genuinely wants to be with me. Someone who understands my flaws but is willing to compromise and look past to see the good things (and I will do the same). Someone who is interested in a long time, not just a good time. Someone that I can trust and be more or less vulnerable around. Someone who won’t try to change me into something they desire, but rather will support me and encourage me towards something positive. Someone who’s honest and doesn’t play mind games, and especially who’s not afraid of difficult conversations.

  21. Question gets asked all the time because there is no answer as everyone is different. You need to be super resilient to find love. It sucks but its not like working hard for a promotion. There are things you can do to help but you just need a bit of luck in truth.

  23. After dating men for more than three decades, I have come to the conclusion that men just simply don’t like women.

    They like sex. They like to look at women with an appearance that matches their idea of sexually attractive. They do not want to talk to women, or spend time with them, or understand them in any way. They just don’t like us as people.

  24. They don’t even know so I stopped trying to figure it out. One day they want one thing, the next day it’s completely different yet they will never tell you.

  25. Personally I’d love to meet a woman who’s actually attracted to me and actually wants a relationship and won’t suddenly switch up her energy between dates and ghost me out of nowhere without even telling me what the problem was.

  26. Love, kindness, connection, vulnerability, transparency, exclusivity, honesty, touch and peace

  27. We. Are. Not. All. The. Same. So. We. Want. Different. Things.

    That’s part of finding a partner. Finding out what they want and how they want to get it. The only way to do that is watch and ask. (Each one individually)

  29. 44m and yeah I get that. In terms of games, relationship, never. I have my entire book open for women, no skeletons, no secrets, maybe a few connect the dots and some “color this” Star Trek pages, but that’s about it.
    I reached a point in my life where it’s not about grandstanding, it’s not about showing I’m “alpha”, whatever the heck that means. I took everything my parents taught me and I am me, and that’s how I present myself: manners, respect,all that boring stuff these days(probably why I’m still single lol)
    If someone doesn’t meet what you are looking for, drop them, you will find your someone. It will just click, so don’t give up! 🙂

  30. I just want a simple, easy going life with someone who wants the same. I’m really independent and would like a partner who is also independent and has a life of her own outside of the relationship (girls nights, hobbies, ect). Someone who can be content in the life we have without focusing on the things we don’t. I don’t belive anything in life is ever an even 50/50 split but if we’re on the same page about being a team and share responsibilities, we can get close.

  33. Genuine kindness, compliments, and showing you care go a long way. No two people are the same no matter how similar your situation with them may be so I cant speak for them but most men are easy to please and only some are controlling. You’ll find the right man for you just keep going 🫡

  34. I want a woman who wants to spend time together. Whether it’s going out to eat, cooking at home, watching a movie or a show, hell even running errands with me. Enjoying the mundane parts of life together is what makes a relationship worth having for me.

    I want her to be proud of her relationship with me. I like it when she wants to show me off to her friends, she wants to hold my hand, or arm, and show a little affection in public because I like to do the same. I want a woman who compliments my work and efforts that I put forth in literally anything. It can be for simple things like thanking me for doing the laundry or taking out the trash. The best way to get me to want to do something is to show appreciation for it. Usually the cornier the better.

    I want a woman who isn’t affraid to ask me for help. I will lift heavy stuff, open jar lids, reach the top shelf, and such all day for the woman I love because it stimulates the hunter-gatherer protector part of my brain.

    I like picking up a little snacks or knick knacks for her while I’m out and about. I like buying and paying for things for her, but a woman who offers to pay or is even willing to simply pay for a portion shows that I’m not simply an extra wallet for her.

    Last but not least, I want a woman who will not weaponize my emotions against me when I’m being vulnerable with her. The emotional pool we share is not a zero sum game. We are partners, not adversaries. Partners build each other up. I really just want her to listen and empathize. In my experience, this has been the most difficult one to ask for.

  35. My gf to stop taking me for granted lol. Told her I have a job interview tomorrow and all she said was “nice”. Would be great to have a gf who liked me and supported me but here we are.

  36. A lot of guys want comfort without responsibility, which leaves women drained. Protecting your peace isn’t being “picky”, it’s being sane.

  39. 35M here. Honestly? I just want someone to come home to every night. Took a while to get past my divorce a few years ago, but god damn it’s all I want now.

  40. I had that problem in my younger days. Then I realized it was me. I kept picking the same type of guy over and over again. Once I went to therapy it got better. Not saying that’s the case with you. Just throwing that out there

  41. They don’t even know what they want. They just know that they want something & don’t bother to find out what it is exactly

  42. I don’t know about anyone else but i want the same effort matched, loyalty, respect, peace and to know that I matter.

  43. 50M. Divorced 10 years. Single 5 years. Life is 💯perfect except for a partner. I miss falling asleep on the couch together and the groggy “let’s go to bed” at 3am. 🤷🏻‍♂️

  44. There’s this thing my gf does sometimes where she bites my bottom lip a little bit when we’re kissing

    That

  45. This isn’t a direct answer to your question but people tend to attract the kind of attachments that they believe deep down they deserve.

Leave a Reply