My Girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years now and in the past year and a half our sex life has severely slowed down. The base of the issue in my opinion is her not finishing every-time we have sex and Not lack of trying on my side of things. I will go down on her for however long it takes if she doesn’t cum from penetration, sometimes 20min+ then she’ll stop me and say it’s fine. Days later I’ll try and initiate sex again and she will deny me and say part of the reason she doesn’t want to have sex with me is because it sucks to get so close to finishing but not cross the line. I totally get that! I will ask her for help which is embarrassing for me as is, and ask her things such as tell me slower,faster,harder or softer. She’ll say I’m doing good as is in the moment. She’ll won’t finish then correct me after we stop being intimate. A few days later I’ll try and get her in the mood but as I said I’ll just get denied. Practice makes perfect so how can I get better if I’m never given a chance to? I’ve tried so many different things, I don’t shorten foreplay, I cook her nice meals, wine and dine her, clean the house. All things lots of men don’t do and I do it often. Not for the sole reason to arouse her but to make her feel loved. Which is another side note she then doesn’t appreciate some things I do because she thinks my end goal is sex. Tried games, toys, asked her what she wants to try new..ect and I’ll still be denied.
If you read this far thank you, anything helps and I can elaborate in the comments if you have questions very embarrassing for me to be asking for help on Reddit but idk what else to do. Ps never had issues up to a year in a bit into our relationship with her finishing. Thanks!