Hi! It’s been almost a year since me (M21) and my ex gf broke up and I’ve given myself the time to heal and reflect after a relationship that lasted 2+ years.
Recently I got on dating apps with the intention to meet new people, either make friends, hopefully find someone romantically compatible with me but also hook up.
I’ve never tried hooking up with anybody and I’ve only had sex with my ex, but at a certain point in our relationship (actually pretty early on) she stated taking antidepressants and meds for her ocd, which made it really hard to satisfy her. We used toys + penetration + every type of stimulation in the book but it was still really difficult for her and it somehow took hours. Now, I definitely don’t have any problems down there, and she always referred to this as a “her” problem, which she didn’t have before the meds, but especially after a not-so-great break-up I started doubting myself a bit.
So now I’ve found somebody I’d like to hook up with, and who’d like to hook up with me, and we set it for friday night. But my past experiences + the fact I’ve never done something this casual is making me a bit nervous. I want to experience it, and get back into this world too, but part of me doesn’t know if she expects a great performance that I’m not sure I could actually give (since I can’t really compare to anything except my ex who had a really hard time coming).
I also have no idea how long I’ll last in this scenario, which makes me even more nervous about it. I’ve had times with my ex where I came in like 5 minutes and times where it even took a couple of hours (although it wasn’t pleasurable at that point), cause I had adjusted myself to her needs. Most of the time it was somewhere in between that, probably around 25/30 mins.
But I have no idea how everything will be after so long without sex. Should I mention this is my first hook-up? Should I just go with the flow? Do any of you have any tips on this type of stuff?
Thank you in advance, this is not that easy for me to talk about, even online. :’)