I’m just going to get straight to it. I 28F) have been married to my husband (32M) for a few years now. Every year, when my birthday & the holidays come around, my in-laws buy my husband & myself some really nice gifts. Additionally, my mother-in-law enjoys going out shopping with me whenever we visit & always wants to buy me a nice gift as a way to show her love & appreciation for keeping her company. My husband only has a brother, so I’m like the daughter they never had.
Despite what my husband thinks, my in-laws are in fact very well-off. They live in a very nice building, drive a number of luxury vehicles, including an Audi, Mercedes, & Harley Davidson motorcycle. Mother-in-law only wears luxury brands & has a closet FULL of Chanel, LV, Prada, & Burberry. When he’s not working, father-in-law practically lives at the country club playing golf. Both in-laws have already discussed their plans for their upcoming retirement.
Since we’ve been together (dating, engaged, & married), my husband has always gotten upset whenever his mom bought me nice things. Upset with ME. He tells me I need to reject any gifts his mom buys me because I “didn’t do anything to deserve them” & I’m “encouraging his mom to waste her hard-earned money on me.” I want to make this very clear: I have never once asked either of his parents to buy me ANYTHING. Anytime I received a gift from them, it was their own doing. My husband even argues with his mom whenever she talks about buying me a luxury item. I told him he doesn’t get to dictate how his parents spend their money. He agreed, but said it’s not right that they’re spending their money to buy nice things for me when I haven’t done anything to earn it. I asked him why me being their daughter-in-law wasn’t a good enough reason. I also asked him why he has no issue with his own mom purchasing luxury items for herself just because (even when she didn’t do anything in particular to “earn” it). He didn’t have an answer to either of those. I can’t tell if my husband is just jealous that his parents like me enough to buy me nice things out of the kindness of their heart, or if my husband just…thinks I’m a gold-digger?
TLDR: in-laws are very well-off & are known for owning luxury items exclusively. Anytime mother-in-law buys me, or talks about buying me, a luxury item, my husband hates it. He argues with me & his mom, claiming I don’t deserve those things & that I need to earn it. His parents disagree with him. But he tells me I need to firmly tell his parents “no” when they buy me something. He has made his parents aware of his feelings multiple times.
Edit: I forgot to mention this. My husband has been upfront with his parents about his feelings on the matter, as this has been going on for years. It has gotten to the point where his mom will now gift me something of hers, instead of buying me something new. However, my husband still complains. He now says I’m “taking his mom’s things that she worked hard for,” despite the fact I never asked her to do that.