My husband quit smoking August 2024 after 17 years of smoking. He only quit because we were trying to conceive.
We met online during covid lockdown, I didn't know he was a smoker until we met in person 3 months later. By this time, it was too late for my feelings. I made my concern known to him immediately and he reassured me that he has been trying to quit smoking and just needed the right motivation.
He said everyone in his family smokes, hence why he started smoking at 14 and has been wanting to stop ever since. So when we got married and moved in together 3 years later I was certain he will finally stop. He was out of the environment that made it difficult for him to stop. So he couldn't possibly have any reason to continue, but somehow he didn't stop.
When we started trying to conceive around September 2023, his doctor suggested he stop smoking after a semen analysis, but he didn't. After a year of trying to conceive and no result, he eventually stopped smoking in late August 2024. However, I knew he secretly smoked when he was out with his friends and visiting home.
We recent got pregnant and I just found out he started smoking again enough to buy a pack. I am heart broken because I don't think he cares about himself enough to stay alive for our unborn child. Three of his grandparents died in their 60s from lung cancer (they all smoked). So he knows of his family history yet he decided to go back to this habit.
I don't want my child to be raised by smoker or be around it, worst I don't want my child to watch their father fall ill from smoking related health issues.
He went out for an hour today. The moment he walked in, I smelled the cigarette on him. He immediately started lying and denying it. I leaned over to smell him his shirt and he still denied it. I walked to the coat hanger and smelled his jacked and it clearly smelled of it and he was still denying, saying it must not have been washed properly. Only when I search his pockets and found the cigarette did he stop lying. He then turned around and said "what's wrong with me having the odd cigarette every now and then".
How can I resolve this? What can I do? I am in my first trimester and the smell is really making me nauseous. Have anyone been in this situation? Either as a smoke or a spouse of a smoker. How did you resolve it?