TLDR: My boyfriend told me yesterday that he doesn't sleep with me anymore because he thinks my body is too fat. I'm surprised as I haven’t gain weight since we met and I don't really think I'm overweight. I'm not sure what to do.
Before I begin, just know that English is not my first language, so I may make some mistakes or sound a bit weird.
So, a bit of context: My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months, and before that, we were seeing each other every other week for a year. We’ve been officially living together since July. Before that, he was the type of guy who slept with a lot of girls in any situation and without having meaningful relationships with them.
We met through a friend and began a mostly sexual relationship that turned into love. It was a rough start, I should say, with a lot of complications, but I thought it was better now.
When we were seeing each other, we could have sex about six times in 24 hours. We both have a high sex drive, and I thought we loved to have sex with one another.
When we began officially dating, we had less sex, but it was still a lot and nice, and he liked to explore my body and try new things.
In the last few months, we’ve barely made love. Maybe once a week, and I have to ask for it. I’m becoming more and more insecure about this, and I started asking questions. He told me that it was because of stress, work, routine, etc.
But yesterday, we were arguing about me feeling less loved and cared for, and he told me that he has doubts about the future because I’m not health- and sports-oriented. He is, a lot.
I love art, cinema, literature, going out, being outside, and being with people, but I honestly don’t care about sports.
Anyway, he told me that, and I started to ask questions about the link between that and the lack of sex. And he told me that I’m not his preferred body type and that I’m too fat for him to feel desire for me.
Note that I haven’t gained any weight. I’m a 5’5” female, about 140 lbs, and I love my body. I wouldn’t even say I’m fat, and I’m sure as hell that I’m pretty hot, so I was a bit surprised. He told me that we could save this part of the relationship if I did cardio 3 times a week.
I kind of want to be healthy, but I’m so hurt and insecure right now. I also love him so much, and he is my favorite person in the world, so I would like to make these changes.
But still, I’m asking myself a lot of questions. For example, would you be attracted to my body type? Do I really have to change for someone to be attracted to me?
I would like to receive opinions from both sides of the coin.
I just don’t know what to do and how not to feel resentful and insecure. He tells me that he still loves me and that I’m beautiful, just not attractive, I guess…