This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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Mornin’ y’all! You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.
I’ve been unemployed for the last six months and I’m so so jealous of anyone who is married with the same struggle… They have a partner to lean on, financially and emotionally. I was there for my ex-husband when he was unemployed for a couple of months… What about me?? 🙁
I wasn’t looking for it. I was lonely. I was looking for nothing. And when he came to find me I expected nothing. But he promised me everything… and as soon as I let myself want it… he disappeared
Two weeks out from my breakup, but somehow it feels like an eternity. Every trace of him has been deleted from my phone and my life. I thought I was doing well, but grief don’t give a fuck, and I found myself crying in a Home Goods parking lot last night. Such is life, I guess.
I’m stronger than I give myself credit for.
I am going on my first date tonight since signing up to OLDa few weeks ago! She seems like such a wonderful person and we both have similar interests and hobbies and have been chatting non-stop since we met!
With that being said. i’m not going in there with the expectation that it will go further (or vice versa) but i’m hoping that we both have a great time and from there..who knows !
Did anyone ever go through a period of date after date after date feeling nothing and then suddenly they felt something? I am not looking for fireworks on a first date, but with my last ex, after our first date I remember sitting in my car thinking “wow, I LIKE him”. I haven’t felt that since. I’ve been giving 2nd, 3rd, etc dates without feeling much and trying to let it grow, but I’ve been just feeling nothing with anyone since my breakup (last year). I do not want my ex back, but I want to feel something again for someone.
I just had to let this new guy down easy. It was for reasons in addition to not feeling a romantic connection (he canceled our first date last minute, never asked me anything about my own life, and was really needy with texting and I felt suffocated. Also talked bad about his ex during the date, which I don’t like even if it’s valid).
Someone help! What do I do? Just keep going out with people? I average 1 first date a month by choice. F, 37. My friends are now telling me to just keep going with my gut instead of trying to make something grow when it’s not there. It has nothing to do w/ looks either. I personally find them all attractive in some way.
I (f29) was recently diagnosed with androgenic alopecia (female pattern hair loss) and I am devastated. I’ve gone to the doctors, I’m on all the meds, so I’m not seeking medical advice.
I’ve always always wanted romantic love and partnership, and I do everything I can to improve myself and my life. But now it feels like there’s no point in trying anymore. I feel ugly, unwanted, and undesirable.
My ex and I recently dated for 11 months, he was my first boyfriend after 5 years (previously had 2 boyfriends in my early 20s). The 5 years I was single was very lonely and hard for me and now I feel like I’m doomed to be alone.
I moved to a new city, so I have few friends and a distant relationship with my family. Thankfully I enjoy my job and that’s where I get most of my social interaction. But otherwise, my life is quiet and empty.
My hair loss gives me so much sadness and anxiety, I can’t even muster the energy to try anymore. I want to give up on dating but a part of me will always be in pain longing for love. Anyone women with a similar experience who can offer words of wisdom?
How important is it to have a roster while dating? I’ve met one woman that I really like, but in between dates there is almost no communication. No texting or phone calls, or just general chatting about our days or common interests. It’s hard for me to feel any kind of growing connection or bonding because of that lack of communication.
I feel like she is keeping her options wide open. Or maybe she’s not fully over her ex. And because of that, I’m finding it hard to trust her or feel like she’s a safe person that I can open up to. Like it’s not fun dating someone when you feel like they constantly have one foot out of the door.
Should I be dating multiple people too? I like to date with intent, and am not the best at juggling multiple women. But if it’s what I need to do to avoid investing too much of myself too early, I guess I need to adapt.
I (30m) went out for coffee and a walk this morning for a first date (with 35f). It was the best date I’ve been on in a long time. Conversation flowed naturally, banter was fun, the vibe was immaculate. Ended in a perfect first kiss. Can’t wait to see her again.
i have been sexy text messaging someone from a dating app. we tried to phone chat but the youthfulness in his voice terrified me. he says he’s in his mid-40s.
he sounds like mid-20s. i dont think that i’m wrong. he’s so attentive, eager to please. so much time on his hands. i think he has a chill job in the army.
i might be getting a sugar baby soon
I was at a job for a few months and developed a crush on a co-worker. I left this job a few months ago, but still think about getting to know this guy.
We spoke a few times at work, but nothing crazy. I would get so nervous around this guy and never wanted to look weird or unprofessional, so I never engaged much.
Reaching out right now doesn’t feel right, is it weird to want to reach out maybe next year?
Has anyone ever had a past co-worker reach out to you years after working with them?
‘No one has loved you like you love me’ hits again. Not ‘I’ve never loved someone like I love you.’ – that can never happen to me in this life. Why is it always about what I can do for the other person (in my case, a woman), and never about how strongly she feels about me?
I hate that I met someone but I’m just not physically attracted.
I’ve been wallowing in self pity all week over a failed dating attempt, but that ends today! I’m gonna get myself together, get dolled up, and take myself out tonight. I’m gonna remember who tf I am and have a damn good time 😊
To *you*,
*I broke the tacit agreement I made with myself awhile ago to not engage directly with you anymore. The truth is though that you’re so precious to me, and I miss you. Every day I want to check in with you, or ask you something about your life.*
*I miss the version of our friendship that was frank and ironic and a thousand small, shared congruences, until you stopped trusting me with yourself. You stopped telling me anything real, except under the guise of anonymity, and I couldn’t get it back, and it made everything with you feel… unanchored.*
*And then you were dating in earnest, and hiding it from me, and I knew anyway because I read your silence the way other people read each other’s words, and it **hurt** in a way I couldn’t adequately verbalize, not without making you shut down further.*
*But I’m sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t talk to me. I’m sorry I made you feel unsafe. I reached out because I selfishly hate the thought of you hating me, of there being a rift between us, even if we don’t talk anymore. I’m wildly more emotive than you are, sometimes in the least helpful way, but I hope you know that, above all, I want you to be happy. I want you to have fulfilling relationships, and I want you to be loved the way you need. I hope that’s okay.*
Stepped up my 5k running game. Ran for 20 minutes today then walked for the last 10. So I’m getting there. It’s not a fitness issue, but a “I have an inured toe and I don’t wanna fuck it up even more” issue. So taking it slow
I’m being sensible. For once. I’m growing as a human. Or I’ve entered an early mid life crisis. One of those.
Hope everyone is having/will have a nice weekend!!
A potential first date ghosted me yesterday after texting with me the previous night and I’m positive it’s because I wasn’t getting spicy enough through text, as he was testing the waters. I didn’t give off “sure thing” vibes. Ah well.
On a positive note, finally (due to schedules) meeting someone this weekend I’ve been talking to for 2 weeks. We’ve been texting a lot, and had a long phone call. Feeling a little anxious that the in-person meeting won’t live up to our communications thus far.
Have another first date lined up from a speed dating match next week.
Dating is feeling like a part-time job.
After two dates told the guy I don’t think we’re match. I was feeling uncertain about whether I should give him another chance. I went back to the bar where we had our first date and the bartender remembered me. She asked “how did it go with that guy?” I said well it didn’t work out and she said “yeah he was talking way too much about himself and not trying to get to know you.” Yep, she validated my overall feelings about this guy and reminded me to trust my gut.
I’m finally over the guy that I had a disappointing dating experience with this last summer. I feel like I learned a lot about myself and my (old) patterns through my involvement with him, and I’m grateful for that. It’s a big relief to finally see him for the unsuitable partner that he is. When I spoke about him on this subreddit before, a few people were (rightly) surprised that I kept entertaining him after his continuing disrespect for me. I’m happy I finally managed to close the door on him, even when I’m tired or drunk I don’t fantasize about him anymore. Progress!
Another development is that I’ve been thinking about dating other women for the first time in my life. I met a woman a couple of weeks ago and I found myself being attracted to her, I could tell she was into me too. I noticed a lot of internalized shame come up when I realized my attraction to her. Something to unpack there. I’m still enjoying my time alone after processing the guy from last summer, but maybe in a while when I feel more open to other people again I’ll reach out to the woman and see where it leads to (if she’s still open to a connection with me by then, that is).
Going to have to step back from dating for a bit. Or I don’t **have** to, I can be like plenty of people these days, but I hit a point today where I don’t think I can get excited about people anyone. I’m too drained not from life but from dating and apps. I think this is the worst part of previously having an awesome LTR (or parts of it) is I know what I want to feel, I know how it feels to be excited about someone right away and it being “right”, and I know I can get my “type”.
But instead it’s just dud after dud after dud. I was really looking forward to some cute Christmas Market dates too and kisses cuddled up with the decorations around us.
Fully related, Google decided to show my a 2019 picture of us. I don’t want her back at all but god damn we looked hot and happy and that is still a photo from one of the best days of my life.
Officially have 2 boyfriends (28m &36m) after 6 years of being single. Never planned to be poly, but here we are. I’m so happy right now. I usually put up a christmas tree alone and it’s a huge task. This year, I’ll have plenty of help.
there’s threads where people post bad dating app profiles and/or photos. i think it’s really mean. even though i think i just matched a scammer on Day 1 on the job. hahha
Since it has come to my attention that it is cuffing season, I think I’ll use this time to brush up on my appearance and social life.