We have been dating for 2 years and are living together. One of my favorite things in this world is being understood but it seems like he can never do that. Our arguments always go like this: He does something that triggers me and doesn’t understand it so i tell him what he did wrong then he doesn’t understand why that would trigger me so i tell him why that triggered me, at this point we are already past the point of understanding each other but okay, then he finally understands the issue and apologizes but his apologies are always terrible (just repeatedly saying sorry with no explanation or promises) then even tho i’m not satisfied with his apology and am still feeling a bit annoyed/sad i decide to move on since it’s usually small issues but after not even 2 minutes he does the same shit again. He always says it just slipped his mind and he didn’t mean to but how little care do you have for me that you forgot it in 2 minutes. At this point i usually start getting really angry and start cussing, which i know is very toxic and wrong but why is the problem always my reaction and never what caused it.
Our issues are always the smallest things that don’t matter so i try to brush past them but this pattern of not being understood and not seeing any change or effort has made me resistant towards him and i want that to go away because we genuinely love each other so much but i don’t know how we’re going to get through this.
TL;DR:
My boyfriend is bad at understanding me, doesn’t know how to apologize correctly and repeats the same mistake in a span of minutes. So i get angry and start cussing which i know is toxic but i don’t know how to fix this problem we keep facing at least once a week.
Edit: I want to add a few things
– the mistakes he does aren’t big things none of them are stuff i would care about if he didn’t keep repeating them
– i know i sound ignorant about this but i’m genuinely clueless and don’t know what to think
– everyone keeps downvoting and not saying anything i genuinely wanted some advice or at least commentary