When my wife and I have sex I'll often make her cum before we have PIV, during, and sometimes after with the vibrator.
I enjoy it and I'm happy to do it.
Whats been frustrating / feels hurtful is that the past few times I've been wanting, able, and willing to ask to cum again she's either not been interested or is occasionally willing but out of a sense of 'fairness' which I'm not into (I'm really only into it if she is)
Maybe this is partially because, by the time I'm recovered she's probably done.
Of course I know I can't really make her into it, I know its not personal, but sometimes it feels like she's not as invested in my pleasure as I am hers.
When I talk about this with her she'll try to offer more but unfortunately when she offers a good portion of the time I'm not in a state where I really want to / am able to. Because its so rare and after we've talked it feels as though she's mostly just offering out of a sense of 'fairness' and I feel a bit rushed (especially if she cums again before me).
Any tips / ways of thinking that might help me feel differently about this? Or maybe ideas / methods to help keep her interested in those moments? Or helping to 'sync' up our desire for multiple rounds?