Hello, I’m here as a last resort. I met a beautiful woman at work 6 months ago and I feel like falling in love with her was a mistake.
Let me start by saying I’m 27 and have never been in a REAL relationship. But this lady is the closet I’ve ever been to having a relationship. I met this woman at a very vulnerable moment in my life, my last girl I was talking to was so verbally abusive and used me for my money and that’s when I met my Work Wife. She would do so many things the girl I was technically with would NEVER DO. She made me feel important however, she told me from the beginning that she is not somebody I’m ready to fall in love with.
I ignored every warning and so did she because after just a few weeks of talking at work we end up getting super close and intimate. We spend all day and night together.
Here’s were things get a little messy, my work wife lives with her baby dad yet she is still intimate with me. She performs oral sex on me pretty much every week doesn’t even ask me to return the favor, and still goes home to her baby dad. They both cheated on each other in the past but I can honestly see he’s trying his best. He buys her expensive gifts and takes her on dates, he’s not the most affectionate but as a man I can see he’s trying his best. And that right there makes me feel like shit.
It gets even worse, almost 2 years ago she met a close friend of mines at a bar and he gave her oral sex and she returned the favor. They were drunk of course and this was way before I knew either of them but that shit literally eats me alive. The fact that I know this guy, he’s a player, a pimp. He was able to get with the love of my life with little to no effort. Her excuse is she didn’t know him and was going through a lot back then and this was a form of self harm but I just can’t understand why. My friend has never admitted to this btw, however this information was volunteered by my work wife. I’ll never see her the same.
It just hurts so much because she is literally perfect to me. No one has ever in my life treated me as well as she does. She just doesn’t love herself. I don’t know how to get over this shit. I have severe anxiety and depression. I feel like I will never find someone like her again. Idk what’s wrong with me. She’s not even my girlfriend so maybe this post doesn’t belong here but I need help. Am I supposed to just ignore the fact that this girl is the love of my life and move on? Or do I ignore her past and present and try to be happy with our current relationship? And how do I stop thinking about her past? Every time I look at her beautiful soul I’m haunted by the image of my homie throat fucking her (she insinuated that’s how it happened) I need harsh honest criticism and advice please.