So… my boyfriend forgot my birthday.
Long story short, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and a few days ago it was my birthday. He forgot, and it really hurt.
He’s in a military college (kinda) and on weekdays he can’t leave until 3 p.m. That morning he hadn’t sent me any messages, so I honestly thought he was planning some kind of surprise or something. Especially because about a week before, we talked about how I don’t like my birthdays because they always end up kind of bad, and he told me this year wouldn’t be like that.
Back to the actual day: in the morning we chat a little, he tells me he’s tired and feeling a bit sick, and I try to comfort him. But he’s not saying anything or giving any hint that he knows it’s my birthday. Around 2 p.m. he tells me he’s feeling really bad, I comfort him again, we talk a bit more… and at some point I just can’t hold it in anymore. I ask him if he’s “rage baiting” me. He asks what I mean, and we get into a small argument. At that point I don’t really want to talk anymore, so when he tells me I should communicate what’s wrong, I just leave him on read.
After about 5–6 hours (he hadn't texted me either), I text him something like: “Okay, fine, I’ll communicate. we’ve been together for 3 years and I just didn’t expect you could forget my birthday.” He doesn’t text back, but he calls me, wishes me a happy birthday, and apologizes. says he forgot because he felt sick. I just sit there in silence and ask him if he really forgot, and he says yes…
I start crying and tell him I’ll call him when I get home (I had gone shopping because I didn’t want to just sit alone in my room lol and I was on my way home). When I get home, I text him that I’m back but I don’t really have anything to talk about, because I didn't know if I wanted to forgive him or not. I also didn't want to spell out what he had to do because it was kinda clear. He calls me again and keeps telling me how sorry he is. I explain then that this means he hadn't thought about preparing anything for this birthday all week or even just a day before. Like a cute message or something because I didn't want anything fancy. He then tried to say that he's horrible and a bad bf and I said that he shouldn't say that/ it's not necessary and that I won't feel better if he says these things.
But honestly, after I told him he forgot, I was kind of expecting him to at least come see me, or get me flowers, or something. He didn’t, because he said he was feeling too sick. The thing is I could really hear that he got sick… but at least he could have written me a cute message or something (or a simple message)
I love this boy so much, but I feel like he’s disrespecting me, and that if I just forgive him like it’s nothing, I’m disrespecting myself.
So… I don’t know. Any advice?
TL;DR: My boyfriend of 3 years forgot my birthday, only wished me after I told him, didn’t make any extra effort to see me or do something special because he was “too sick,” and now I feel really hurt and disrespected and wonder if I’m overreacting by being this upset.