We’ve been seeing no each other for 6 months on and off, he wants a relationship, I’m not sure I’m ready to commit. For context, my last relationship a year and a half ago was to someone I was with for almost 9 years, we were engaged but ultimately it was not was I wanted. Now that I’m dating again, I want someone who’s more compatible with me in regard to goals, ambition, drive, financial stability, etc. This guy I’m seeing is a great guy, our personalities align and he’s very emotionally mature. He treats me very sweetly and is great at all the little things girls want in a relationship (buying flowers, cooking dinner, massaging me and “taking care of me” when I’ve had a long day). He’s a simple guy. When I asked him about his dreams in life he said he wanted to be a dad and a husband and wanted to buy some land outside the city, which is fine and dandy, it just doesn’t align with my goals. I’m a very ambitious and driven person. To me, having a family and a nice home are bare minimum things, I wouldn’t call it my dream. I want so much out of life, I have big dreams in my career and living an adventurous life full of travel. I already travel a lot and can afford to live a comfortable life on my own. I enjoy going to fine dining restaurants, booking flights on a whim, and essentially live my life as “if I want it I got it” way. I do make more money than him, which I don’t mind. What I feel like we don’t align in is that he is perfectly fine living a simple life, but I want more. It makes me feel shallow thinking of letting him go because of this, when he treats me so well emotionally. I really like him, I just feel like something is missing. Would I be crazy to end things just because he’s not showing the drive I’m looking for? For more context, my last relationship was very heavy on me, I always felt like I was making moves and dragging him along with me. I just don’t want to fall into the same cycle with this new relationship. For once I’d like to be the princess and have someone leading the way.
ETA: He’s aware I want more in life, and wants to provide it for me. But it’s more that he wants to please me rather than because it’s something that he wants. He calls himself a “late bloomer” because he’s still figuring out what he wants to do in life, thinking about going back to school or changing careers, whereas I’m already settled in my career. We’re in very different places in life, and I can’t help but feel like I’d be waiting for him to catch up.