So for context, in September of 2023 I got into a relationship with my first love. I’d been neutral to the dating scene and was starting to wonder if I was aromantic. But the night I met my ex I suddenly understood why people got married and had a shitty 9-5 and a subpar apartment. I understood in that moment that it’s possible for a person to be your home. We dated for around 3 months and they ended it because they weren’t happy. We lived a couple hours away from each other and the long distance took a toll on them. For the next 6 months i was pretty depressed but was starting to come out of it. I’ve gone through cycles of being “over it” for 6 months at a time and then realizing that they’re the love of my life. Corny and stupid yes, but completely sincere. Anyways I’ve been mourning this relationship for 6 times longer than it actually lasted, and about a month ago finally got into a new relationship after talking to someone for a couple months. I’m happy, I think, but my ex keeps creeping into my mind. Last night I had these incredibly vivid dreams where me and my ex realized we were meant for each other again, and I woke up completely devastated again knowing that no matter how long I do my best to put them out of my mind, I’ll always come back to them as “the one”.
I know all the incoming comments will say to break up with my current gf and that this isn’t fair to them and you’re all right, it’s not fair to them, but I want to actually get over my ex once and for all and strengthen my relationship instead of ending it. I do like who I’m with and want to build it into something stronger than what me and my ex had. But I just don’t know how to stop giving up hope that one day they’ll come knocking (even though i know they wont, i can never seem to give up hope). I don’t want to keep thinking about them, I’ve hurt enough over the last 2 years, I just want to be done with it. I don’t want to hurt or burden my current gf with this either. Apologies for the current rambling, but if anyone has any advice on how to ACTUALLY get over this old relationship other than “you’re young, it’s temporary”, “find hobbies to distract yourself”, or “break up with your gf”, it’d be much appreciated. It’s not about distracting myself, this is a fundamental, primal issue that resides in my bones that I’d like to rid myself of. Thanks.